The Lambs are Still Screaming

Like Jodie Foster said in Silence of the Lambs, the lambs are still screaming. Yet, for me, it's the image of Thursday's plumbing incident that still plays over and over in my head. Like one of those badly edited movies, cuts from the river of waste flowing through my bathroom intersperse with cuts of the workers laughing and tracking crap throughout my apartment. Even with a 48 hour distance, I can still see it streaming. Yuck!

I spent a nice Shabbos here in Jerusalem, recouperating from the trauma and trying to catch up on sleep. I think I've finally beaten the jet lag, although I'm not 100% positive. I didn't sleep that well on Friday night, but then I took a nice long nap on Shabbos afternoon and was able to get in about 5 hours last night. With school starting on Tuesday, I'm really hoping to be back in a routine.

So, Buggy and I have been working steadily on wedding plans. In the meantime, I've decided to take an informal poll of married couples to get some wedding/marriage/relationship advice. Some advice was solicited while others were completely unsolicited. Either way, I think the comments have been pretty interesting.

Dad
When Buggy called my Dad to ask for my hand in marriage (how beautifully old fashioned and wonderful of him!), my Father told him that we are now a Team and we need to remember to act as a team. Dad reiterated this statement during the drive to the airport last week, and we couldn't agree with it more. Putting it into practice is going to be a bit challenging, we have both been single and independent for so long, it's going to be an adjustment to remember we need to consult each other before making important decisions.

Cousin Tova's wedding advice
"Its really easy to get swept up in the details, so just remember why you are doing all of this and keep in mind that the wedding is really a 5 hour party. What's really important is your relationship with Buggy, so don't lose focus of the goal. Also, expect wedding details to go wrong so if things don't turn out exactly as planned, you aren't upset the day of the wedding."
Pretty decent advice!

Omama (Buggy's Grandmother)
Buggy and I spent Friday night at his Grandparents and we had a really nice dinner with them. Before dessert, I asked his Omama what is the secret to a happy marriage. They have B"H, been married for 60+ years and they still look at each other through honeymooners eyes. Omama's advice was that marriage is all about "give and take", and that no matter what, "we should always say a nice good night to one another before going to bed.

I'm going to continue with this poll so I hope y'all aren't bored with the subject matter!

Buggy is really busy with school work today so I'm going to head back to Tel Aviv in the early afternoon. I'm hoping to get myself to the gym at some point this afternoon and will probably have to do a load of laundry. I want to wash anything and everything that was in the bathroom on Thursday. D'ya think I need to throw out my toothbrushes though? I think I might need to invest in new ones, just because the thought of using them (even though they weren't near the floor on Thursday) really repulses me.

Literature of the day is Pastries: A Novel of Desserts and Discoveries by Bharti Kirchner, cause this is as close to sweets I'm going to be getting until after the wedding!

Smells Like Teen Spirit

There's a saying in Hebrew that goes something like this Don't open a mouth to the Devil and, well, yesterday I opened my mouth real wide and said AAHHH!

I am blogging from my bedroom as the scent of waste wafts through my apartment. Apparently, while I was gone, this apartment was perfect. There was not one single problem. During the past 48 hours, since I've been back mind you, this place is back to falling a part.

First, Itai called to wake me up to let me know that there is a blocked pipe in the five apartments in this building built by this guy Yehuda. He was on his way to fix the pipe and Itai wanted me to check my toilet to make sure that everything was in working condition. I took a shower this morning and used the facilities without a problem. When I went to meet Oren for coffee this afternoon, Itai called to tell me that there was a huge block in the pipe and they were going to fix everything. I also mentioned that the kitchen faucet was very loose and needs to be fixed. When Yehuda came to check it out, he told Itai that the only way the piece could have been broken was if someone very, very strong leaned up against the faucet. Now, I know I'm a pretty big, strong gal but not strong enough to break the faucet on my own! Besides, it was fine when I left and was like this when I got back, so who was using my apartment in my absent?

Here's where the story gets really good. When I came back from coffee with Oren, I used the facilities and then flushed the toilet. Apparently, the shrink working downstairs (in the middle of a session I was told) got dripped on when I flushed! I didn't ask the details of what exactly dripped on him, but he was taking a shower when I got back from my waxing appointment. So now, Yehuda has removed the toilet from the wall and is fixing THAT problem before he needs to get back to the sink and the clogged pipe.

I wish I knew Yehuda's last name cause I would publish it on the blog and let everyone know NEVER to use this guy! I also don't blame him because the people who built this apartment were extremely cheap and this is what happens when you try to nickel and dime the contractor. You get rivers of waste running down your living room!

Oh yeah! Now they're snaking the drain with this massive black rubber hose that is caked with lord knows what...I think it's time for me to close the door and not watch them work. Trust me people, these guys aint whistling while doing this job!

Fortunately, Vera is scheduled to come and clean the apartment tomorrow. Personally, I think my landlord should pay for her to clean the apartment, but I don't know if that's a battle I necessarily want to fight at this time. I'm gearing up to light all the candles in this apartment to try to get the scent of doody out and the sweet smells of perfumed candles into the apartment. The good thing is that this completely killed my appetite for lunch, so that's not necessarily a bad thing as I could use to lose a few pounds.

Buggy is scheduled to come over for dinner though and I am not cooking and serving him a meal in a flat with this stench. I've got all the windows open folks but with the pipe issues outside the building, it aint smelling like roses there either.

Oh well, this should be the worse thing to happen to in life.

As promised, welcome to the Ugly Wedding Gown section of my blog.



The first is a fabulous creation by designed Raquel Reshef. The features on this gown makes bodice ripping more than just what you read in cheezy romance novels. For a small sum, you TOO could have strings of sequences like a corset pulling together the front of your dress! I hear the brides are lining up for this one.




The second gown, by designer Dorit Kat, includes three different types of material: satin, lace and tulle, and is the perfect gown for the mermaid wedding. Who needs a coconut shelled bra when you could showcase your ta-ta's in this sequence covered lace creation. The sheer material between the waist and bra is divine and ideal for the woman who wants her diamond studded belly ring to shine in the Tel Aviv moonlight.

And, as y'all ruminate on these glamorous creations, I want to take a minute to wish my niece Orly a very, very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Congrates on turning two you fabulous big sister you! I hope these guys clear out soon so I can call and sing her the Happy Birthday song, which has suddenly become a personal favorite of the Orlicious! May this year bring more musical DVD's ( ala Annie) and Elmo videos.

OK, I'm off to monitor the workers in my pad. Here's hoping for an earlier night tonight!

Insomniac Music Theater

Anyone remember the show Insomniac with Dave Attell on Comedy Central? I personally never watched it but I did watch Insomniac Music Theater on VH1 (or MTV?) quite frequently. It's 5:00 a.m. and I'm wide awake, wired and wide awake. Here's how it happened, the vicious insomniac/jet lag cycle. Last night, I was up until 4:30 a.m. because of jet lag and the fact that I'm anal and needed to unpack everything ASAP! So, when my alarm went off at 10:00 a.m. this morning, I shut it off and went back to sleep until Buggy called to wake me up at 12:45 p.m. That's when I finally dragged my aching body out of bed and got the day started. But, the exhaustion started to hit me mid-day and rather than take a nap I decided to fuel myself with caffeine.

Half a bottle of Diet Coke with caffeine.

And did I mention that I NEVER drink caffeine?

So yeah, I'm wired and my eyes are red and I should have purchased another Visine when I was back in the States. I've been IMing so at least I have folks around to keep me company through the jet lag/insomnia. One of my friends suggested that I take a sleeping pill but since it's already 5:00 a.m. and I told Buggy to make sure I was up and out of bed by 11:30 a.m., I think it's too late. I'll try to stay off of the caffeine tomorrow so I can hopefully sleep through the night tomorrow night!

In the meantime, I've been having some fun with my registries. I started one at Crate and Barrel and at Bed Bath and Beyond but haven't really added anything significant. I need Buggy's approval on all selected items before I put them out there for my family and friends to peruse. That beind said, the three items I already registered for should get his approval with no problems. For the most part, we have very similar taste, so the whole process will hopefully be fun for us. Now all I have to do is figure out how to get everything I register for here to Israel!

Just another big thing to add to my list.

OK, I'm off to try and count sheep. Maybe the motony of counting will lull me to sleep.

Here's praying!

Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Just as I was about to start composing this blog, about what a glorious day is was today in Tel Aviv, my Mom called to tell me that my sister had an accident. Apparently, there is a lot of ice in Silver Spring and when she was leaving the house this morning to go to work she slipped on the ice in the driveway and fell. She broke her ankle in 3 places and is being wheeled into surgery as we speak. I'm praying for a speedy and fast recovery.

I woke up twice this morning. Once, at 10:00 a.m. when my alarm went off, and another time when Buggy called to wake me at 12:45 p.m. Oh yeah, this is going to be a lousy jetlag experience! I couldn't fall asleep until 4:45 a.m. this morning, but at least I had plenty to do.



This is what it looks like now across the street from my apartment building. I shouldn't be so shocked, I was "forewarned" when they erected this huge sign that mentioned construction on Arlozorov Street. Had I been able to understand the sign, I probably wouldn't have been so surprised when Yuda dropped me off last night next to this pile of pipes and dirt.



The noise is pretty bad, as the Catepillars have been ripping up earth and pipes. I'm waiting for the worst to happen: a pipe will burst, my water won't be any good because of some sort of break, the cesspool being accidentally punctured and waste flowing down the street, etc. Hey, I never said I was an optomist people - I'm a realist!



By the time I left my flat this afternoon, it was well into the upper 70's and bright blue skies. Not one cloud could be found on the horizon. I put on my new pair of New Balance sneaks and headed down Ben Yehuda to change money. I ran a couple of other errands like putting in the new skirt that was stained to be cleaned, buying hangers so I can hang up all the new clothing I brought back, and picking up some food for the rest of the week. The oranges here are so good, I had one for breakfast! I don't know what happened with California and Florida, but folks back in the States who can get their hands on Israeli oranges should definitely do it. They are so sweet and wonderful!

A couple of people have been complaining that I buried my engagement news within the body of one of my recent blogs. Rest asured, I am not hiding my engagement at all. I'm thrilled beyond belief that Buggy and I are getting married and can't wait until the big day.

Like good ol' Bob said: The Times They Are A-Changin'. Over the next few blogs, I'm going to hopefully map out the future of the blog as The HolyLandHipster goes from citizen non-resident to citizen newly resident.

Brace yourselves folks, cause I'm betting that making Aliyah this summer is going to be more stressful than planning the wedding!

Stay tuned to the blog cause I'm going to scour the wedding district of Tel Aviv and take pictures of all the ugly wedding gowns this wonderful country has to offer! I should have plenty to choose from folks, plenty to choose from!

The Things They Carried

Mom told me not to go to sleep at 1:00 a.m. and well, we're in luck, I am wide awake and doubt I'll be hitting the sheets anytime soon. I finished the bulk of my unpacking and just made myself a mug of Nestle's diet hot chocolate and thought I'd settle in and update the blog. You may have guessed that I'm back in Tel Aviv!

Buggy and I left New York last night (or rather, early this morning) on EL AL's midnight flight. My folks got us to the airport with plenty of time to discover that our travel agents completely screwed us with seats. Or, rather, that El Al screwed us on the seating. Essentially, Buggy and I were supposed to leave on the 7:30 p.m. flight on Presidents Day. Last week, they cancelled that flight and moved everyone to the Midnight flight but the folks on the 7:30 flight ended up getting whatever non-assigned seats were left. The airline had Buggy and I sitting in the middle seats of the middle row but one in front of the other. We weren't having any of that and, since there were no aisle seats left, we took two middle seats in the middle row next to one another. Honestly, it actually wasn't that bad! We lifted the handrests up and had plenty of leg room that the flight ended up feeling a lot less shorter than it was. Expect for the occassional turbulance (which I'm absolutely petrified of, BTW) it was a lovely flight. We were so busy doing the What you know about your bride and What you know about your groom books that I picked up at Barnes and Nobels this week, we didn't even realize we were coming in for a landing! We touched down right when some of the questions were getting good!




By the time I left Buggy at the airport and got back to my apartment here in Tel Aviv, I was itching to unpack and get back into a routine. I know with this jet lag it's going to really take some time. But, I tackled each suitcase one by one. Before really setting down to unpacking though, I called Jeff and met him and Lana for a quick bite. I felt like I was walking in a daze when I walked over to see Jeff's new apartment. It's really nice and big and has gorgeous windows! We caught up over pizza and then I got back to the task at hand. I am absolutely shocked and impressed with myself that I was able to bring all this stuff back into the country!

Like the beginning of Tim O'Brien's masterpiece, The Things They Carried the list includes: 6 jars of Taster's Choice vanilla flavored coffee, 14 books including my old recipe notebook and a new cookbook, four pairs of new shoes, 25 bags for mishloach manot for Purim, half of my CD collection, 2 plastic bags of Splenda (that really did look like bags of cocaine!), 25 comic books (for Buggy to share with his two brothers), three bags of Raspberry Tea flavored Crystal Light, 3 glass turtle figurines (of which, one broke when I was unpacking it, so now I'm down for two), 12 scented candles for Buggy's mother (a gift), my entire bencher collection, a summer comforter, 2 handbags including my winter JCrew green tote, two wool winter coats including a Shabbos and weekday jacket, enough Kiehl's products to last me through July, 3 new Banana Republic skirts, one Swiffer, one new Banana Republic skirt that was stained by the Swiffer wet wipes at the bottome of my suitcase, my wedding notebook (to keep on top of everything I need to do before the big day!) and a Tzedaka Box (that my sister bought me one year as a birthday present and was immediately filled with the two shekel shliach mitzvah money Buggy sent me when I left for New York 26 days ago).




I am still shocked that they didn't charge me extra for my huge bags! Actually, the woman at the desk noticed that I had overpacked one of the suitcases and mentioned that she wasn't charging an extra suitcase fee because El Al messed up with the tickets. That was worth the snafu alone!

Since I got a significant amount of unpacking done this evening, tomorrow is hopefully going to be a somewhat relaxing day. I need to change money cause I've got dollars but absolutely zero shekel, unpack all of my drug items, start reading the short stories I need to read for class next Tuesday, go to the gym (if I'm awake enough to move), buy food for my apartment (I've got nothing but drinks and peanut butter), work on the new short story I've been thinking about writing, get together for coffee with Gayle, get in touch with Marnina, Rachel and Fruma about Shabbos (they're in town for the OZ trip but more on that tomorrow!) go for a walk on the beach (cause it's supposed to be 70's and sunny and that beats the freezing cold weather of New York!).

Countdown until I'm back in New York for Pesach is approximately 5 weeks! I have so much to do in that time period, it's pretty scary!

Erev Tov from Tel Aviv!

Bling

It's 8:03 a.m. in the Holy Land, and 1:03 a.m. here in New York City. I can't sleep, and am way too wired. So much has happened in the past 48 hours, I'm just trying to get a handle of life right now.

First things first, I finally did it and moved over to the new Blogger. I've been holding out now, not really sure why, but I decided it was time for a change. Sometimes, change can be good. I'm hoping the new Blogger format will be a good experience.

In the process of moving to this new format, I discovered about 33 messages that needed to be moderated. After all this time, I just thought no one loved me or wanted to leave notes on my blog. But, lo and behold, I was just the loser who forgot that I changed my settings so that I have to manually approve all comments.

So, early this morning, I went through all 33 messages. I approved the ones from my fellow bloggers like Slightly Mad and Ari but rejected all those comments that were inappropriate. Oren, that means you!! I'm glad you finally found the blog after begging Hannah for the URL, and I have no idea why Lana's name appeared 3 times less than yours, but I don't think you can use that as proof that I like you better than her.

Anyway, let me call your attention to the fact that published author Ned Vizzini actually posted a comment on my blog! Apparently, I mistakenly wrote that he had written two novels prior to Be More Chill. I am absolutely honored and flattered that Mr. Vizzini, an extremely sophisticated and eloquent writer, could use such a term of endearment for me in the comment section.

So yes, Vizzini, I guess I am "a dick". Guilty as charged. But no matter how you slice it, Be More Chill still sucked.

And, before my contact lenses dry out completely, I want to share that I got engaged yesterday morning. If you're reading this on the blog and are pissed that I didn't call to tell you myself, please accept my apologies. We have been on the phone non-stop since the big proposal. Between fielding phone calls from both Israel and the States (future Mr. HolylandHipster is a Sabra), we had to shovel the snow after the Noreaster of 2007 blew through town leaving sleet, snow, and ice in her wake.

We left no snow angels, although we liberally sprinkled the salt on the driveway to keep the ice at bay. While no steaming mugs of hot chocolate greeted us when we finished our task, it was a perfect way to spend the first few hours afianced.

Too tired to select literature of the day, although I did just purchase the complete short story collection of Flannery O'Connor. She's a wonderful author and I highly recommend the short story Yellow Wallpaper.

Here's hoping the weather in Israel is a lot warmer than it is here in New York. Tomorrow will be a tights under jeans kind of day.

Oh Henrietta

I'm in denial. I can't believe that in one week from tonight, I'll be on a plane headed back to Israel. Where has all the time gone? I feel like I still have so much to do! This last week here is going to be extremely hectic, especially since I have a lot of packing I have to get done in a short period of time. That being said, I've been packing up as I've gone along so I don't have that much to do.

Last week was an exhausting blur of bottles, diapers, baths, and cleaning. I went down to Baltimore last week and stayed from Sunday through Thursday after the bris. Needless to say, it was a lot of fun bonding with the family and spending some time with my new nephew. He is named after both of my Grandfathers and of course, I cried when my Father named him at the bris. Granted, I have a hard time with the whole bris to begin with (the baby is really crying up there people, don't tell me he's just cold!) but was especially choked up when I heard that he was named after two of my favorite people.

It was great seeing my nieces and my other nephew - and of course - it's always fun hanging with the sisters. I was able to get together with my friend Debra and we grabbed some coffee at Barnes and Nobles in Baltimore. There's also this new kosher dairy place called Cocochino, owned by the same people who run Accents, and they make the absolute best chai lattes. I've been on a mission to find the best kosher chai latte in the world and have been to many places in both New York and Israel and can confidently issue the following list:

Top 3 Best Kosher Chai Lattes
1) Coffee Shop, Jerusalem (Emek Refaim) - just the right amount of froth and sweetness! Perfect for a rainy Jerusalem day.
2) Cocochino, Baltimore - so sweet you'll be riding that sugar high for days!
3) XX, Katamon - Don't remember the name of the small cafe near Tayasim street, I'll have to ask Buggy next time we speak, but it's worth it for the froth alone!

After bearing witness to my niece's first poopy in the potty, I packed up yet again and took the Acela back from Baltimore to New York. It was Thursday afternoon/early evening and I anticipated that the train would be crowded and sure enough, I ended up sharing a seat with someone. When the trained pulled into Penn Station, I was shocked to see about 15 secret service agents rushing past me to get to the back of the train (where I had been sitting). At first, I thought they were there to arrest someone but then I noticed how nicely dressed they all were and realized that someone in the Government was riding the Acela from DC. It was clear who it was when I got out of the Penn Station and saw the entourage of black sedans and town cards screaming through the lights of the city.

Yup, I shared my train with Senator Hillary Clinton herself! Too bad I didn't get a chance to talk to her, I would love to discuss the speech she gave recently at a meeting with pro-Israel supporters. I would recommend she fire her advisor who thought it was a wise idea to discuss initiating in a dialogue with Iran, especially given that President's love for Israel and us Chosen Peeps.

But, this blog is not a political forum so I'm going to move on and talk about the awesome weekend I spent back on the Upper West Side! Marns and Rachel hosted me Friday night and it was the usual suspects: Cousin Neil, Ari, Rantz, Ilana and Elana. I was just so excited to see everyone, I don't really remember everything we talked about. It was just so nice to sit next to Cousin Neil and discuss the movie we want to see on Saturday night. Shabbos, I actually made it to shul in time for Torah reading. It's Marnina's fault really; she wakes up at 9:00 a.m. on the dot and is one of the first people in shul for services. Personally, I would have been happy to sleep late but figured since Marns and Rachel were going, I might as well rally. It was actually really nice to be there for services, and to see some folks at the Kiddish afterwards. After that, I raced back to Cousin Neil's apartment to prepared for lunch on Shabbos. I had to put the food on the plata to get hot, and make the taco salad. Fortunately, the boyz (aka Cousin Neil, Rantz and Ari) still had the punch bowl I bought for the taco salad. This bowl is absolutely huge and one of the best investments ever! When you're making one salad to feed 12 people, you need a big bowl folks. This bowl holds three bags of romaine lettuce, 2 orange peppers, a container of cherry tomatos, two ripe avocados, one container of mushrooms (stems removed, even if Ari thinks that's weird I just think the caps taste better!), an entire bag of crushed tacos and of course the dressing!

Lunch was a lot of fun! This time, the boyz hosted and Marns, Rachel, Fruma, Janet, Hannah, Liora and my friends Kess and Cuch all came. I did a lot of talking at that meal, especially about the trip I took with Hannah and Liora back in October. By the time I finished washing up (that punch bowl can take up to 15 minutes just to rinse!!) and made my way back to Marns and Rachel, it was too late in the afternoon to grab a nap. I went to visit Hannah and spend some quality time, which was nice as we hadn't really had a chance to chat in person since she left in October. With an hour left to Shabbos, I went back to Marns and Rachel's and basically hung out with them until Shabbos was over.

Saturday night was a lot of fun too. I went with Cousin Neil to see Pan's Labrynth and I highly recommend that film! It was pretty spectacular and the theatre was absolutely packed! I guess that's what four Academy Award nominations could do to a flick. I hope it wins the award for Best Foreign Film. After the movie, Cousin Neil and I headed toward Makor for dinner and were joined by Ilana, Rachel, Marns and Moshe the Costa Rican. Dinner was memorable; 'nuff said. I walked into my parents house in Queens at 1:09 in the a.m. (apparently I woke Dad up, sorry!) and was happy to finally fall into bed at 2:00 a.m.

Yesterday was pretty busy with errands, lots and lots of errands. Buggy is coming to visit me tomorrow and so I've been trying to get ready for that. Plus, I had to do another unpacking and load of laundry and put all the stuff I wore this weekend into the cleaners. Then, I got bitten by the cleaning bug so I tackled my parents house. Literally, I hit the living and dining rooms hard and let's just say it all looks beautiful now! I was so tired from all the dusting and packing that I fell asleep during the Grammy's last night. Yeah, I know, I didn't miss anything. The Dixie Chicks cleaned up apparently. That's a shame, I'm not a fan of country music.

Which brings me back to this morning and why I have been up since 5:30 a.m.! They are predicting a heavy snow storm from Tuesday night into Wednesday. That means there is a chance I won't be able to get into the City on Wednesday and so I need to pack my day today and do all the things I had been saving for Wednesday. I'm actually blogging right now from my Dad's office as I have another Dr.'s appointment up at Montifore hospital in the Bronx. After my appointment, I'm going to hop onto the express bus and head into the City to have my Mac and iPod "serviced" at the Apple Store on 5th avenue. After that, I have to head back home to Queens to bake some cake for Shabbat. I went to bed at 2:00 and was up at 5:30 so chances are, I'm going to be making tonight an early one!

For all those wondering about my title for the blog, here's the story. I've really liked this British band called The Fratellis for over a year now. Then, the hipster in charge of music for the Apple ad campaigns, decided to use the song Flathead by The Fratellis in the new iPod commercials and suddenly people everywhere are excited about this band (which, by the way, has been hugely popular in the UK for over a year!). So, if you've found yourself bopping to the commerical, that song is called Flathead. Personally, I prefer the song Henrietta to Flathead, its just got a much better beat.

Literature of the day is A Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend: For Every Guy Who Wants to Be One/For Every Girl Who Wants to Build One by Felicity Huffman (yup, the Desperate Housewife!) and Patricia Wolff. Just in time for Valentine's Day, here is the latest in a long line of awful relationship propoganda books. If you read last year's The Game, this one should also gather dust on your bookshelf!

Aunt Holylandhipster

It's official - Holylandhipster is once again an Aunt! My little sister gave birth to a baby boy on Thursday morning and boy is that kid lucky I was shopping at Lord & Taylor when I got the call. Yup, I practically bought out the entire Ralph Lauren layette department at the tony department store. I was perusing the dresses section when I got the call - around 11:30 a.m. that morning - and all thoughts of shopping for myself went out the window. There was a new born baby who needed a bris outfit to think of and his new big sister needed something pretty too! I ended up buying so much stuff that I had to open a Lord & Taylor credit card just so I could get the added 15% off from whatever I spent that day. The gorgeous baby blue blanket alone was worth it! My new nephew is going to be styling on this Thursday morning - please g-d - when he keeps his date with the mohel.

So, Thursday was spent shopping once again and then taking care of some errands. Friday was pretty busy - I hit Main Street a couple of times to pick up some food for Shabbos, put in the dry cleaning, pick up Purim bags (yeah, I know, a little bit early but I've already thought about my theme and wanted to make sure I got some good stuff before the rest of the neighborhood converged onto the same store to buy bags for Purim, got cake for my folks for Shabbos and bought my Dad the lotto. Cause really, all you need is a dollar and a dream. I was given strict instructions -Quick Pick, Cash Only and like a parrot, I walked into the store and got both Lotto and Mega. I don't know how many years my Dad has been playing these games but I doubt he's ever won anything. Who knows - maybe he'll score big one day soon!

Shabbat was very quiet, I did an awful lot of sleeping to gear up for this week down here in Baltimore. Saturday night I started packing two suitcases bound for Israel with some of the booty I've collected in the first week of shopping. Since I'm down in Baltimore for week two of my three week "vacation" in the States, I tried to get as much done and crossed off of my to-do list as possible. I'm already feeling the exhaustion setting in and chances are, I won't be getting much sleep anytime soon.

Today I was up bright and early and soon found myself back on the Acela heading down towards Baltimore. It was wonderful to get here and really exciting to see both of my sisters. My niece was soo cute when she saw me too, and she came over and gave me this toothy grin and a great big hug. I gave her the Elmo coloring book and the magic markers and she was very excited about those gifts. After one sister left to go back to her brood in Silver Spring, I was left to settle in and get acquainted with my new nephew. I had to formally induct him into the special club - the second child born on the first of the month club. Fortunately for him, his Aunt and Father are already card carrying members. He's just so adorable and little, he likes to scrunch himself up onto my shoulder and sleep. I have to admit, I am very comfortable, and he has burrowed himself in between my neck and shoulder, up against my chest and even tried to take off my head to settle his right on top of my neck. Clever boy already!

After giving the beautiful niece her bath, she requested that I take care of her night time ritual and I read her books while she drank a bottle, and sang her to sleep. Her newest favorite tune is The Witch Doctor and she likes to dance as I chant ooh eee ooh ahh ahh, ching chang, walla walla bing bang. No idea what she sees in that song but if it gets her to sleep, I'm a happy Aunt.

I've got about an hour left before I have to give Buggy a wake up call in Jerusalem. Then, it's off to meet Mr. Sandman before my busy day tomorrow. There is folding laundry, and food shopping, and muffins to bake and the niece to get dressed and ready for her full day at day care. It's nice to be needed, and I'm looking forward to helping out this week.

Literature of the day is People magazine with Tyra Banks on the cover. The Supermodel is now up to 161 pounds and she's proud as hell with her new look. Great article if you can pick up the copy - before they completely disappear off of the news stands.

Into the Mystic

I am wiped man! Today has been a day where you wish the hours were longer and that you weren't racing against the daylight. I went on a huge shopping spree today and interspersed perusing through the sales racks with meetings with good friends.

The day started with me trekking into the city and meeting my Mom around Dana Buchman on 57th Street. I am looking for a specific gift and was hoping Mom could help me out. Sadly, we were unable to find something and Mom left me to head back into work and I headed towards the Upper West Side.

First, I stopped into Innovative Luggage to pick up more locks for my suitcases. I lost one in my apartment in Tel Aviv, so I had to replace them. Then, it was onto the M7 bus to head over to Tower Records and Banana Republic. I wanted to pick up the new Amy Winehouse CD but when I got to 67th and Broadway, I discovered that the Tower Records had closed. I went back across the street and shopped-till-I-dropped at Banana Republic. Very successful! I managed to get two skirts and four tops.

Then, I went around the corner to Kiehl's, which is one of my absolute favorite stores. Their skin care line is simply amazing, and since my lips have been cracked and bleeding since before I left Tel Aviv, I pick up a few more lip balms. By the time I was finished at Kiehl's, Bracha was ready to meet up and we went to grab some lunch. After a nice meeting over soups and salads, I left to see my favorite person at Scott J. Aveda Salon. Josine is the absolutely best waxist and facialist on the Upper West Side! She fixed what the Israeli waxist did to my eyebrows a few weeks ago, and I headed over to the bank to pick up some more cash. Turns out, my new ATM card is not working. So, I had to reset my ID code and pick up some cash. With it burning a hole into my wallet, I went down the block to Tip-Top Shoes and bought two pairs of New Balance sneakers. I got a new pair of running sneaks and the half sneaks that are soo comfortable! I can't wait to wear them around the Bar Ilan campus once the weather gets warmer!

With a few more minutes left until I met Melissa at Crumbs, I went to the card store to pick up some birthday cards for my family members who are celebrating big days in February. After I stocked up - and picked up some cards for my Mom to send as well - I went across the street to Sephora. I needed to pick up one of those clear plastic bags for the plane, since they are very strict at security these days and I absolutely must bring certain products onto the plane with me. I'm absolutely lost and dry without my contact lense solution!

After I left Sephora, I ran into Fairway hoping to find Taster's Choice French Vanilla coffee. Buggy's Aunt requested that I pick up a few jars since she can no longer find them in Israel. I struck out already at both Supersol on Main Street and Fairway on the Upper West Side and hope to try Gristede's or Whole Foods next week. If they still make that coffee, I'm determined to find it!

I left Fairway, which was typically crowded, and went across the street to do some Duane Reade shopping. I needed stuff to take back with me to Israel and to use here, and it was the first time I traded the basket for a cart. I filled the cart with all the bags I was already carrying with me and managed to fit the stuff I was purchasing in whatever spaces were left. Armed with enough Static Guard to make sure I no longer walk around Israel with my skirts attached to my hose, I paid and went to meet Melissa at Crumbs.

Over tea and sweets, Cuch and I caught up and it really felt as if I hadn't left. In fact, I was shocked that I hadn't seen here in 8 months!! It felt like we had gotten together just yesterday. After catching up, we walked together to Eden Wok and then I left Cuch to get some Hot and Sour Soup while I walked to Makor on 67th. I am kicking myself for living on the Upper West Side for 4 1/2 years and never eating at Makor! The food was great and the company even greater. When I walked in, I was shocked to see Liora at a table with a friend. I had been meaning to call her but things have been so hectic so it was nice to run into her. Marns and Rachel were having cocktails as I rolled up like the bag lady and we quickly got down to the business of catching up. They both looked so great! It was so nice to just relax and drink and spend time together. I was really happy to see them!

By the time I got into a car heading back to Queens, I was thoroughly exhausted and my stomach was killing from whatever it is that I ate during the day that wasn't good for me! Before I head to bed though, I'm going to grab my new issue of Time Out New York and just relax and catch up on some Must See TV!

Till next time :)

Baby You Can Drive My Car

I'm fighting an awful case of jet lag since I got back to the Big Apple on Thursday afternoon. I landed at ten to 3:00 p.m. and didn't get my luggage until 5:00 p.m.! Majority of the passengers on my flight were fuming that we were waiting for the luggage to be loaded onto the belt, but I took it all in stride. I didn't have a connecting flight, or anyone waiting to pick me up outside of JFK, so I just waited for my suitcase to come shooting out. When my duffel came out, I zoomed through customs and raced the other international arriving passengers to the taxi stand. Fortunately for me, there were tons of gypsy cabs trying to pick up passengers, and since Buggy's ski jacket was warm but I could have certainly been warmer, I decided to take one of the Town Car drivers up on his $50 offer. I know, I know, I was robbed for that price but it was worth it. The line for the taxi stand was out of control, and this way I was in a warm car and off to Queens in no time.

The traffic on the Van Wyck Expressway was stop and go, so we ended up taking the service road all the way to Main Street. I was lugging my duffel up the front steps of my parents house by 5:30 p.m. as my Mom laughed while watching me from the front door, and boy was I happy to see the folks! I think that's when I got hyper cause I immediately pulled out my laptop and shot Buggy an e-mail, gave my Mom and Dad the presents I brought them from Israel (my Dad loved the Southern Review tote bag and my Mom thought the Roman Glass earings were cool). At which point, The Dude came back from school and gave me a rundown of his errands for the evening. I quickly unpacked all the stuff that needed to be cleaned and hitched a ride with him to Main Street, where I gave in about half of my wardrobe. After the cleaners, we went to Wasserman's to get my brother food for Shabbos and then drove over to my Grandmother's so I could give her a hug and the pin I bought her in Tel Aviv. She was thrilled with the pin and gave me a big squeeze. I got back to the house and managed to keep myself up through half of Grey's Anatomy. I fell asleep midway through the new episode and by the time I woke up the credits were rolling. I managed to put myself to bed at 10:15 p.m.

Friday was a really relaxing day, I don't really remember what I did but it involved some laundry, vacuming as my Dad supervised (that was a pleasant experience) and helping Mom get ready for Shabbos. It managed to make it past dinner until 8:30 before I went upstairs and passed out. Unfortunately, that meant that I was up and raring to go at 3:30 a.m. and I laid in bed until around 5:00 just thinking. For a few minutes, I felt as if living in Israel had never even happened to me. It was a scary thought but then I thought a bit clearer and the past five months came flooding back. I mean, come on, how could I have thought up shot gunning with Bret Lott?

Shabbos was quiet and relaxing, just the family for lunch. I thought if I didn't go to sleep in the afternoon that I would beat this jet lag so I stayed up. Initially, I was going to go into the City on Saturday night to hang out with Cousin Neil and Marns and folks but Cousin Neil had to go to work (the things the Attorney General's office do to people, work on a Sat night is obsurd!!) and Marns was going to the movies with Rachel and Elana. So, I decided to stay home and catch up on some Must See TV. With three episodes of Heroes and two episodes of Friday Night Lights under my belt, I went to bed thoroughly exhausted.

I woke up at 5:30 this morning and could not get back to bed! The amount of errands on my list today were just so huge that I was hyped up with them all. First, Mom and I went into the City to do some shopping. While riding the F train in, there were 3 homeless people panhandling for money. Welcome back to New York! The stench of stale urine hit me as I descended into the bowels of this city and I felt it following me throughout the day! We got back to Queens by mid-afternoon and then it was off to food shop at Supersol and pick my Grandmother up for a walk around the neighborhood before the snow comes in. I hope it holds out for a few more days cause tomorrow I have an even busier day than today! With an eye Dr.'s appointment and a highlight appointment in Soho, I don't want the dampness to ruin anything Rob is going to do with my auburn locks.

But, the best part of today was the time I spent behind the wheel of my Toyota Corolla. Boy, it is just so nice to drive again. That's what I miss most about New York when I'm in Tel Aviv, being able to get behind the wheel and go wherever and whenever I want. Hmmm, I think I might invest in a vehicle for next year, it would just make me sooo happy!

It's 7:30 p.m. in New York, 2:30 a.m. in Israel, and all I want to do right now is crawl into bed. I'm going to take my book though, and my phone, and force my friends to keep me up until at least 10:00 p.m. tonight! I hope all is well with my friends back in Israel!

Literature of the day is About Alice an autobiography by Calvin Trillin about life with his (now deceased) wife. It is sad and funny at the same time, and also a wonderful story about two people who truly loved each other and who were committed to one another, and how heartbreaking it is for Calvin to be dealing with the loss of the love of his life.

Bad, Bad Chocolate

First of all, in almost 13 hours I should be on a plane heading back to the good ol' USA. I am really really looking forward to the vacation, I certainly need it. Today was a very busy day, I ended up doing all the last minute things you do before you go away. I did my laundry so I have clean underwear on my trip, I cleaned the apartment so that when I return everything will smell nice, Gayle came over and helped me pack so I didn't take anything unnecessary, I took out travel insurance from my health care provider just in case g-d forbid I need it and I made the phone calls to everyone I needed to say goodbye to. Like I said, necessary and busy.

Yesterday, I had a Dr.'s appointment in the afternoon and then met Jeff and Gayle for farewell coffee at the Aroma on Gordon Street. It was nice to schmooze and catch up, its been a while since I've gotten together with either of them. After that, I came home and made dinner for Buggy. I made an anti-pasta of grilled vegetables with some olive oil, balsamic vinegar, kosher salt, minced garlic and black pepper, my Mother's famous macaroni and meat with chopped meat, onion, pasta noodles and marinara sauce, and a broccoli kugel. Now, Buggy and I are both watching our weight, and I had found this dark chocolate in the healthy corner of Supersol. The Belgian chocolate (Cavalier brand) said it has no sugar added, and I didn't really read the rest of the package when I brought it back to the apartment. We each had one serving (about 4 squares) for dessert. Not even a half an hour later, we were both feeling terribly nausiated and headachy. I went to sleep feeling like I was going to throw up, and Buggy complained of stomach issues. We both assumed that it was all the vegetables in the anti-pasta, since a lot of high fibre vegetables can do that to you.

So tonight, after I cleared out my fridge of everything perishable and gave some stuff away to Gayle, I sat down to dinner. For dessert, I decided to finish the chocolate bar from last night. This time, I helped myself to 8 squares. Nearly 15 minutes later, I felt awful again. This time, I was on the phone with my friend Shulamit who is a certified nutritionist. I told her what I had eaten and she suggested that I look to see if there was any sweetner in the chocolate that could have made me feel this way. I went to my fridge and looked at the bar and lo and behold, the back of the bar said the following:

Excessive consumption can have a laxative effect.

What, you may ask, do they consider excessive? Apparently, more than 4 squares.

So, I've been throwing up for the past hour. I'm taking a hydration break and then getting into the shower. I hope I feel okay when I get up tomorrow morning, otherwise, it's going to be a lousy plane ride.

Oh, and the worst part of this all is that the chocolate is Dairy and not Parve as I had initially thought. So, I basically served both of us treif and laxative chocolates.

I hope Buggy will forgive me.

OK, am off to the shower. Hopefully, the next time I blog I'll be in New York City!

Woohoo!

The Amazing Adventures of Peanut & Chumus Boy

I should be writing a column about dating right now, but I am ashamed that I haven't updated this blog in almost a week! So, I'm shunning my responsibilities for a few minutes to TCB (take care of business).

Schools Out for winter break!! I am so excited, I can't even express how happy I am for this time off. Its been a grueling few months of writing and working, and I'm so looking forward to Thursday when I get on that airplane and head on back West to New York City! My list of things to do keeps growing and growing, and I just can't wait to tackle each action item! Each will be interspersed, obviously, with hang outs with friends and family.

After class on Wednesday evening, I treated myself with a late night gab fest with friends on the East Coast. I spent Thursday hanging out with Lana, whose last final in medical school was a few hours earlier. We went to Sheinken Street, which is the "SoHo" of Tel Aviv (not really, but that's what the locals claim) to do some shopping for her. Ari was working at Orna and Ella's, so we popped in to say hello and goodbye, before heading back to our neck of the woods. I got home and made Buggy a carrot cake for Shabbos lunch; since I was going to be spending the weekend in Jerusalem, I figured I should try and make some sort of contribution.

Friday afternoon was quite an experience. I ended up taking a cab to Jerusalem, rather than the bus, because I packed for a number of days and had all of my valuables with me (i.e. laptop, passport, jewelry, etc.). With Itai in Rome, I didn't want to leave anything too important in an empty apartment. So, I called the cab to pick me up with more than 2 hours before Shabbos comes in in Jerusalem. Rather than telling the driver to take 443, I was okay with him driving up Highway 1, eventhough the chances for traffic were much greater. I'm not necessarily afraid of route 443, but I prefer Highway 1. All was going great, Avi was telling me about his career as a professional soccer player before he blew out his knee, and I was enjoying the gorgeous view outside of my window. Next thing I know, we are broken down on the side of the highway. Fortunately, we were broken down on the side of an extremely well traveled highway, and both of our cell phones were working. Avi called one of his friends to come to his rescue, and I decided to get out of the cab and sit on the guardrails, watching the traffic wiz by. As the time started ticking away, a couple of taxis stopped and Avi waved them away. Now, I know that he had a friend coming (who, apparently, was always 5 minutes away) but I don't like to play around with Shabbos and I was pissed that he waved two cabs away. I finally told him that the next cab that stops is the one I'm getting into, friend or no friend. It was already 3:15 p.m. and I was outside of Lod, which was about 45 minutes away. I called El Jeffe to see if he knew anyone driving to Jerusalem who could pick up a stranded motorist, but he didn't know of anyone. So, I waiting and finally after 30 5 minutes away the new cab driver showed up and did 120 miles per hour on Highway 1. I walked into the house at 4:10 p.m., giving me a total of 12 minutes to change for shul. Fortunately, Buggy had been warned so all was prepared for me to zip in and get dressed.

Shabbos was very nice and relaxing, the weather was cold but decent. I did a lot of sleeping and started a really good book! By the time Shabbos was out, I had slept more than 15 hours all weekend and was raring to go. But, the weather was extremely uncooperative! It was so stormy last night that Buggy and I decided to stay in and just watch a video. We were in the kitchen getting a bite to eat before starting the movie when we heard cries for help - in English! At first, I didn't want to go check it out, being the New Yorker that I am. I figured it was simply a ploy for someone who wanted us to open the door so he could break into the house easier. But, Buggy is a much better person than I, so we decided to investigate. Sure enough, in the building next door to Buggy's house, a young Australian had locked himself out on his mirpeset (balcony). The wind was howling, pushing the sheets of rain right up against the wall like two lovers locked into an embrace. And there was the poor guy, not dressed for the rain, freezing and drenched and stuck on the balcony. He left his cell phone, with the keys and the phone number for his landlord, inside the apartment as well. So, Buggy and I called the fire department, and then Buggy yelled to the guy to let him know what was going on. The fire department agreed to come and help him but they said they would charge him a fee to break down the doors. The man, now blue with hypothermia, agreed since there was no other choice.

The fire department came a few minutes later and Buggy left me to man the fort while he acted as translator between Aussie and Israeli firefighters. Suddenly, the firefighters and Buggy climbed the ladder up to the roof and tried to come up with alternate ways to save the stranded Aussie. With the wind, it was too dangerous to throw down a rope ladder, so they had no other choice than to break down the door. Towards the end of the negotiations, a small crowd appeared in Buggy's backyard, as two more Aussies (who apparently were friends with the stranded man and neighbors), joined Buggy, and the Captain of the fire brigade in the yard. Aussie #2 started taking pictures, so I opened the back door and asked him if he was press. He smiled and said no.

Loser tourists!

My advice is the next time you wanna go smoke a joint on the back porch during a torrential downpour, don't be an idiot and forget your sweatshirt, keys and cell phone inside.

Buggy returned to a heroes welcome and we watched rerun episodes of Life with Brian, Heroes and Men in Trees.

And that's the most excitement I've had in one weekend in a really long time!! I'm still in Jerusalem today, have some stuff to do and am hoping to make it over to the Kotel before the night is out. I might be coming back on Wednesday to view a documentary of The Lamed Hey at The Begin Center. Other than that, I have loads of errands, packing and a Dr.'s appointment before my early flight on Thursday morning.

The countdown has begun!!! Four Days to go!!

Literature of the day is The Vine of Desire by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. This is an excellent book with a plot that is complex and a poetic and sophisticated language style.

24: Breaking Point

I hope The Dude had the forsight to TIVO the premier of 24 last night. I forgot to ask him to do that when we were on the phone yesterday and now I'm really hoping he did it anyway! I'm going to be missing the first two episodes, but will be in the States for the third episode, and I want to make sure I've watched the first two before getting into the show. Last we saw Jack Bauer, he was heading on a barge to China! I heard the first 5 minutes of the show were absolutely incredible so if you watched it, drop me a line and let me know what you thought (but no spoilers please!

Once again, I'm stuck in my apartment waiting for Yehuda to come and fix the new leak. I'm really starting to get tired of all the problems in this apartment. People come over and ooh and aah over my apartment but they wouldn't be so complimentary if they had to wait at least once a week for the contractor to fix yet another problem. The person who moves in here after I leave will be so lucky, all the kinks will be worked out for that tenant!

I'm halfway through my final paper for class tomorrow and just need to wrap up some stray thoughts. It's not an easy paper to write as the concept of an American Jewish Writer is truly complex. I also have to type up and send to Tamara a few key points from one of the essays we had to read this semester. Since I missed the last class, Tamara lent me her copy of the essay and while I photocopied it, I didn't have a chance to return it to her before tomorrow. Good thing I'm a proficient typer, at least I won't be spending hours at the computer uploading the document for her.

So, I woke up this morning with heartburn, which I haven't had (fortunately) for nearly 3 years! Heartburn has become my breaking point, and I spent two hours this morning surrounded by my Weight Watchers materials, a calculator, my WW calculator and half of the contents of my refrigerator. A couple of years ago, I joined WW and lost 20 pounds. While I actually attended weekly meetings, one of my good friends also joined the program but she was doing it online, and together we kept each other motivated. We shared recipes, discussed meal ideas, exercise points and helped each other through the ups (there were many) and celebrated the downs (which were also terrific!). A few weeks ago, she had a baby, and now she is back on the program too!

The first thing I did today was call my trainer and schedule another appointment with him (Thursday afternoon) and asked him to help me figure out how to read the nutrition labels on food packaging. The problem isn't the Hebrew (I did need him to tell me what word meant "dietary fiber") but that everything is in grams as opposed to cups/ounces or spoons. For example, my loaf of pumpernickle bread is 750 grams total. The nutrition label is per 100 grams but since I've already consumed more than half of the loaf, I have no idea how many pieces equals 100 grams. Yehuda helped me figure out that 100 grams is roughly 2 slices of bread. I was on my own though when it was time to convert my diet Hummus from grams to cups/tablespoons. Fortunately, I was able to figure out that 50 grams was 3 1/2 tablespoons and at that amount it was extremely reasonable for me to calculate the points.

Once I had points for half of my fridge, I was able to pull together meal ideas for the week. Today is already planned and tomorrow is a bit up in the air. Since I have class, I need to make and bring stuff that won't spoil in my bag but will also keep me going during the day. We're also having a party (I'm making cold sesame noodles with peanut sauce) so I think I'm going to pack a meat sandwich (which low-fat smoked turkey breast) so I won't be tempted to eat any of the other food and junk at the party. My next challenge is figuring out how to eat out at restaurants while on the WW program. When I went on WW a few years ago, I swore off restaurants which helped tremendously. That's not to say that I didn't go from time to time out to eat, I did, but it was very rare. Lately, I've been going out to eat at least 2-3 times a week! That definitely has to come to an end, and soon! I'm going to Jerusalem after class tomorrow so I'm going to suggest sushi for dinner. It's very filling and low in points, so I can eat enough to keep me satisfied and not feel like I'm going off the program.

Anyway, I have to get moving on my paper, on typing up Tamara's essay and cooking for the party. Literature of the day is Eric by Doris Lund, a true story about a boy who with cancer told from his Mother's perspective. A very stirring and emotional novel, and a must read!

7 Viles of Blood and Elvis

Before I write about my experience today with Israel's medical labs and nurses station, I have to write about what happened after I blogged last night. Basically, this apartment is The Money Pit. Do you remember that movie from the late 80's? I do because I spent an entire winter break when I was in elementary school watching that movie. It was one of the few my Dad had on VHS and I still can practically repeat what happens in each scene of the film. I couldn't get the image of Tom Hanks, sunken into the floor in the oriental rug, out of my mind last night as I was faced with yet another apartment situation. So, I went in for a luxurious soak in the tub complete with bath bomb and bath salts and was thoroughly relaxed and warm and all ready for bed when I opened the bathroom door to a flood of water and gunk. Not knowing where it came from, I called Itai to come over to bear witness to the latest problem, and together the three of us (Itai's girlfriend Fiona was over too) tried to determine the water's origin. They left me to clean up the water with the suggestion that the amount of water draining from the tub forced water up and through the pipe in the bathroom that is meant for a washing machine (I don't have one but use that nook to house my bucket and luggage). I went to wash my floor for the second time that evening when Itai called to tell me that his apartment flooded too and that he called his Mother to take care of the problem. Happy that at least I wasn't the only person cleaning up junky water, I went to bed thirsty and not necessarily looking forward to today's experience.



I overslept by an entire hour and jumped out of bed at 8:30 a.m. frantic. The blood labs are only open for a certain amount of time and since the I needed to go to closed at 10:00 a.m., I scrambled. Fortunately, I found a cab right outside of my door and the driver, Nissim, charged me 40 shekel to get to the lab. I should have argued since he totally cheated me (he took a little tour of my neighborhood before getting on the highway literally up the block from my apartment that could have gotten me to the blood lab an extra 15 minutes earlier but he had to justify the amount he was charging me so he went down side streets in the complete opposite direction thinking I didn't know my way around town) but I had no choice since it was rapidly approaching 9:00 a.m. and I had no idea what to expect. Nissim had an Elvis figurine with a Chamsah hanging on his rearview mirror and so I asked him if he was a big fan (he was a huge fan!). He told me a little bit more details about the Elvis shrine at some gas station near Mevasseret Zion. He said that it was a really nice little area dedicated to Aharon and that's when I was told that Elvis was a Jew. Did y'all know that? I had no idea Elvis's Mom was Jewish. Now I really want to go to that gas station to check out the memorabilia they have collected. Maybe I can get there before I leave to come back to the States next week.

Anyway, we get to the blood lab and, like at a take out restaurant, I grabbed a number and waited my turn. When my number was called, I walked in and they asked all the preliminary question.

Am I pregnant? (nope)

Had I fasted for at least 12 hours? (yup, and boy was I parched)

Was I awake for at least three hours? (Umm, no).

Problem!

Apparently, to test for the hormone Prolactin, I needed to be awake for at least 3 hours otherwise the test wouldn't be accurate. Now, the Dr. never told me that, all she told me to do was fast for 12 hours before the blood test. There were also a whole bunch of other things I needed to do around the blood test and basically, if they didn't take the blood today, I would have been in big trouble. I was on the verge of tears, explaining that I couldn't leave today without them taking blood, and the manager took pity on me and said I could wait until 10:30 a.m. and they would still do the test. With an extra hour to kill, I went upstairs to the nurses station to get the flu shot. Of course, I had no idea how to ask for it in Hebrew, but the nurse was able to figure out what I wanted and it was pretty painless. After they asked me if I eat eggs (I do!), the nurse administered the shot and now I can come back to the States already vaccinated!

So, I went back downstairs to the blood lab and waited and watched people come in and out. It's especially interesting watching people running in at the last second and begging to let them take blood for various reasons. The manager came out and took the numbers away and some people had temper tantrums when they were turned away. There were a few babies coming in for blood work and it was heartbreaking hearing their cries through the door. Finally, at exactly 10:30 a.m., I walked into the room and rolled up my sleeve. I handed the woman my paper and she printed out corresponding stickers with bar codes on them to wrap around the vial. When I saw that she had printed out 10 stickers, I got a little concerned. I thought they were just taking 1-2 vials! She put three on the urine sample cup and vial and then proceeded to pull out 7 vials for blood. Now, I'm really not squeemish or anything, but I think 7 is a bit much. I've never given more than 3-4 before except for the time I donated blood at Sloan Kettering (but that's a whole story for another time). Fortunately, this woman knew exactly what she was doing and managed to find my vein and filled up the vials fairly quickly and painlessly. Then she handed me the cup and sent me to the bathrooms, where if there wasn't a picture diagram of what to do, I would not have known what they wanted from me. Instead of just filling up a cup, they also hand you this vial that needs to be stuck through the top of the pee cup. The cup is created with these vials in mind so there is something there to puncture the top of the vial, boy man was it a pain figuring this all out. Once I was done, I walked outside and there was this row of urine samples across from the bathroom. No one was around to watch them or anything, but the vampiress told me to leave it in this window and then I was done. Fortunately, she had opened the window from the other side so I knew I was doing the right thing.

I gladly walked out of there, happy that at least that part was done! The only problem was that I had no idea where I was, and didn't know where I could go to find a cab. So, I just started walking and looking for a bus stop, any bus stop. Fortunately, there was a bus stop a few blocks away and I was able to get on the 21 bus which goes right up Ibn Gvirol street. I got off on Ibn Gvirol and Arlozorov and walked the couple of blocks home, stopping into Supersol to pick up what I need to make the sesame noodles and peanut sauce for our goodbye party on Tuesday.

By the time I got back into my apartment, the adrenaline rush had worn off and I was thoroughly exhausted. I ate a bowl of cereal, hoping that the food would rejuvinate me, but I was still feeling lousy. So, I crawled into bed for a bit and slept for almost 3 hours!

Now I have to get started on my final paper, which is due on Tuesday!

Song of the day is Suspicious Minds by Aharon, the Memphis King!

Mud Masks and Bubble Baths

As the hot water fills up my tub, I decided to take a minute to update the blog. I cleaned the apartment tonight for almost 2 hours straight, as I had to scrub my floor after Friday's dinner got a bit messy, and am looking forward to an evening of pampering. I've got a bath bomb (don't ask) and a mud mask, some India.Arie music and the end of a really lousy book to finish before turning in. I make no excuses for this evenings activities as I truly deserve it.

Fast forward to Thursday, one of the busiest days of the year thusfar. The window guy came at the crack of dawn (8:00 a.m. for me) and literally woke me up. I had half an eye open as he caulked the hole between the window and my wall. Now, we wait for the next big rain storm to see if it's enough. After the window guy came and went, I hit the laundromat to wash all of my bedding and towels and gym gear. When I moved the wash into the dryer, I noticed a dead, big black bug in the washer. I hope to g-d it didn't come from my clothing, cause it was big and furry and nasty looking. After the laundromat, I headed back to the apartment to plan the rest of the day and ended up agreeing to go to lunch with Lana. We went to our usual place and it was a nice break for me, especially since I was to spend the next 12 hours preparing for last night's dinner.

I headed over to Supersol to buy the crucial ingredients for my meal and then I went back to Boris's place for the fruits and vegees. By the time I got everything ready for cooking, it was already 4:00 p.m. and I had only made the chicken and meat loafs! I ended up cooking chicken soup, an apple kugel, marinara gfilta fish, noodles for the chicken soup, steamed string beans, brown rice and peas, white and dark chocolate covered strawberries (these were the hit of the meal!), blondies and a carrot kugel. We were, at that point, only 9 people so I figured I had enough food. Itai managed to convince Vera to come on Friday before Shabbat to clean the apartment, so I went to bed happy with what I had accomplished. The cooking was done and all I needed to do was assemble the salads and set the table.

Friday morning I jumped out of bed and ran out for my last minute errands including changing money (to pay for Vera), picking up my dry cleaning (the table cloth), and buying drinks. Lana called while I was at Tuv Taam and told me she was coming for dinner, so now I was up to 10 and had a vegetarian at my table. I quickly picked up two bunches of asparagus and ran home to cook them and make a cauliflower kugel. By the time Vera came, I had the kugel in the oven and the salads and fruit salad were all assembled and waiting to be dressed. I didn't have enough time to blow dry my hair straight though, as Shabbos somehow crept up on me, so I quickly jumped in the shower and got dressed with 2 minutes to spare.

The meal was a lot of fun! Lana and I were the only Americans and so the apartment quickly filled with conversations in fluent Hebrew. That worked fine for me as I spend most of the time in the kitchen when I entertain. This group didn't drink as much as my usual group does, and we only polished off one bottom of white wine. Oren and El Jeffe showed up for dessert and, since I only have 10 chairs, Lana and I hung out in the kitchen and cleaned up. Somehow though, my floor got absolutely disgusting and I had to fight the urge to get out the sponga and make it look as sparkling as it was when Vera was finished.

For those of you who don't know me that well, picture Monica from Friends in terms of her neurotic clean tendencies. Magnify that a bit, and you've got me. My little sister can attest to that, as I once chased her around my Upper West Side apartment with a coaster so that she wouldn't leave a ring on my wood table. I know, I know - that's pretty anal. That being said, when people hang out for almost 4 hours, I'd say that's a successful evening. Buggy helped out a lot once people left so the clean up went pretty quickly.

I don't know how this happened exactly but somehow, I became the person who doesn't do dishes on Shabbos day. Oh, I do my dishes on Friday night, especially since I need them for Shabbos, but lately I've been leaving the dirty glasses and dishes to do as soon as Shabbos is out. So, tonight, that's exactly what I did as I caught up with Lana and El Jeffe to see how the rest of their weekend went.

That's when I broke one of my new, expensive wine goblets. I was pretty bummed out especially since that really nice glass was surrouded by the cheap wine goblets I got for free from the wine store on Ben Yehuda street. Why couldn't that one break? As I cleaned up the shattered glass on the counter top, I realized that the brand new washing cup my parents bought for me when they were here in October was also broken (the clay cracked) and I had to throw that out too. It's upsetting that these things broke but I'm keeping it all in perspective, at least it didn't break when people were here and no one hurt themselves.

Tomorrow I have to be up bright and early for my blood test and flu shots. I managed to get someone from Maccabi on the phone and I have no idea where these labs are but apparently, they are only open for a few hours in the morning so I have to get up again at the crack of dawn and make my way to get it down. After that, I am going to have to find some nurses station (don't ask, I should know more tomorrow after I experience this) for the flu shot. I want to get it before I come home to the States for a few weeks. I'm really making an effort to stay healthy and have even added a mug of green day each day to help stave off viruses and diseases.

OK, I'm off to have a relaxing soak in the tub. Literature of the evening is The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien, one of the greatest American writers who wrote about The Vietnam War.

Shavuah Tov!

PS. Yesterday was Ari Samuel's birthday, Happy Belated Birthday!

Jerusalem Artichokes

I can't believe it's already almost 11:00 p.m. and I haven't updated the blog in a few days. I'm not really sure where to begin so I'll start with my attempt at culinary creativity. Over Shabbat in Efrat, I had Jerusalem Artichokes for the second time in my life. They were so good, they actually taste like potato but without the calories of a potato! So, I decided to go out and try to make Jerusalem Artichokes for myself. On Monday, I went to the Super and found 5 fresh Jerusalem Artichokes and brought them home to make for dinner. Only problem is that I had no idea how to prepare them. So, I decided to consult my boy Emeril, thinking he knows everything. Nothing on the site from Emeril except for some Jerusalem artichoke soup and I wasn't into that. Next, I checked out Epicurious, the only great site for people who are into cooking and new recipes. Strike two. That's when I had the epiphany. If I should treat these suckers like potatos, I can cook them like potatos! I took out my sister's recipe for garlic roasted potatos and prepared the marinade of olive oil, minced garlic, salt, and pepper, cut the Jerusalem artichoke into 1/4 inch pieces and tossed them with the dressing. Then I put them in the oven at 350F/180C for an hour and a half. The ones that were cooked were excellent! The ones that were still crunchy, not so much. I was very proud that I was able to find a recipe that worked with these vegetables (hmmm, can I really call them vegetables if they are a piece of a sunflower? Will have to check out wikpedia for the answer to that).

Yesterday was a really busy day! With one week left until school is out for the semester, things are coming down to the wire. I have a final paper due for my Jewish Arts Seminar class, and I need to write it this weekend. We also had our last official class with Bret Lott and I was really upset that the class is coming to an end. I've learnt so much from him! Plus, he is truly a wonderful teacher who is committed to his students. I have my final meeting with him next Tuesday at 11:30 and I'm a little nervous about it. I don't know what he's going to want to discuss, but I'll be prepared with a list of questions just in case. I also finally saw Borat last night and boy was it raunchy! Although, the bear in the ice cream truck was absolutely hysterical. It was good to just laugh, I've been stressing about cooking for Shabbat and finals so it was nice for a few hours of escape.

Today I had a surprise Midterm in my Jewish Philosophy course. I got 3 out of the 5 questions right, which means that at least I passed the exam. I'm not a fan of surprise exams, especially since I do much better when I've prepared for the exam. What's annoying is that I had all the answers to the questions in my notes, and I pay attention and participate in class, but I don't have any retention for material unless I study in advance. Oh well, I guess I can't complain because at least I passed the exam. Michael Kramer's class afterwards was great too! We spent the entire class on two poems by Emma Lazarus and then he told the real story behind The Statue of Liberty. Folks, what you learned in Social Studies in elementary school was all one big LIE! The Statue wasn't a gift from the French, it wasn't originally intended to symbolize freedom for immigrants, and the poem is not engraved on the statue's platform. I was saddened to hear the truth, quite frankly, but it's interested to hear about how everything really transpired. If I wasn't exhausted, I would tell y'all in these pages the real story behind Lady Liberty but I'm going to save it for someother time.




Meet my friend Jules, I've spoken about her numerous times on the blog. Well, today I walked 20 minutes to the post office on Dizengoff street to pick up the first and only package I've received in this country! Jules sent me the nicest pair of earrings that are just my taste! I was so excited to get a package from a friend that I didn't even mind waiting for 25 minutes in line to pick it up!

When I got home, I called my Aunt Amy to get the recipe for her meatloafs and right now I've got two cooking in the oven. While we were chatting, she told me that he daughter-in-law's twin sister (who happens to live in Jerusalem) just got engaged! Plus, the wedding is going to be here in Israel which means that my Aunt and cousins are coming to town! Which REALLY means that Cousin Neil is coming to Israel and boy do I have a list of movies I want to see. Hopefully, he'll have time to at least go to one flick with me!

Tomorrow is going to be one of those days that don't have enough hours in them. I have to be up early for the window guy who was supposed to come this morning to fix the hole in my wall but asked to postpone until tomorrow. Then, I need to do some laundry because I have no clean towels or jeans. After which, I have to go food shopping so I can finish cooking for Shabbat. I've already done the cinnamon chicken and the two meatloafs, but that still leaves the chicken soup, marinara gfilta fish, cauliflower kugel, chicken cutlets and the carrot kugel and/or cranberry apple crunch (I'm thinking the recipe with the oatmeal topping because that's much healthier. I also have to make the blondies for dessert and I haven't been able to find the right tin at Supersol, which means I have to hit other places to find the right tins for dessert!

Phew, that lists is just exhausting to look at and I'm up for at least another 2 hours as my last meatloaf if cooking in my tiny over. What I wouldn't do for a real, life-sized oven!

Gnight!

Fog and Chocolate Dipped Strawberries

I'm entertaining again. Yup, one more time before I pack on up and head back to the States, I will be hosting another Friday night dinner. This time, the meal will all be Israelis with one token American (me). It should be a lot of fun! Chances are, I won't understand half of the conversation, but if they all have a good time with each other then it will be worth it. I'm trying to figure out the menu for Friday night and I decided to start with dessert first. Since strawberries are in season, and some have been absolutely gorgeous with long stems and lush flavors, I'm going to make white and dark chocolate dipped strawberries for dessert. I'll also make a pan of Shulamit's blondies and cut up some fruit that doesn't have any chocolate on it, so it will be a nice balance. I also think, depending on if I can find the right pan, I'm going to make my Aunt Amy's meat loaf, complete with mashed potato topping, a marinara gfilta fish (I have two more left in the freezer), another cauliflower kugel in a pie shell (I have the pie shell) and chicken soup, and two types of chicken bottoms for the main. Coupled with the usual salads to start and I think I have me a nice meal going. Now all I have to do is extend the invites and I'm all set.

Shabbat in Efrat was really relaxing. I didn't leave the house as the rain wasn't even torrential - it was apocolyptic. I've never experienced anything like this really, even that one storm when I was younger and the family was stuck in the old Oldsmobile and my Dad couldn't see through the windshield, was nothing compared to this past weekend on the West Bank. When we left Jerusalem, the rain was coming down hard and steady, but that didn't prepare us for the dense fog we encountered after we emerged from the tunnel. I've never driven through a cloud before and it was surreal, the area around us was just awash in white mist and we joined a caravan of Palestinian cars all flashing their hazzard lights. It made sense, we needed the extra light just to make sure we wouldn't rear end anyone while driving through the fog. I kept expecting a pack of Greyhounds to flank the car and accompany us on our path; these ghost dogs show up whenever the fog comes out. Fortunately, we made it to the house in one piece with 25 minutes to spare! The rain didn't end until 3:30 p.m. this afternoon, and I've been chilling at home all day.

I have a lot of reading to do for class this week, and a couple of revisions I want to get started on before Bret Lott leaves Israel. So, I'm off to try and be productive. I hear it's in the 70's in New York - that's absolutely insane! I know that as soon as I touch down at JFK, the wicked cold weather will just sock the tri-state area and I'll be nice and miserable.

Can't wait!

Joy and Pain

Bad, bad blogger am I! How could I have gone 5 whole days without updating? Sadly, my excuse is quite poor. I've been watching loads and loads of streaming TV off of Your TV Links. Which means, each time I sit down at this computer to do any work, or writing, or blog updating, I get waylaid by my TV programs. I know, I know, you're disappointed. I am disappointed in myself too, I should be much more disciplined.

OK, let's give you the quick rundown on my week, shall we?

Monday, New Year's Day, I spent the entire day in my PJ's, watching streaming TV, leaving the computer screen to walk to either the bathroom or the kitchen. Yup, it's the perfect day to be a couch potato! I also totally bonded with one of my nieces. We did a lot of chatting, or, as much chatting as a 21 month old can handle. It was really cute, we sang Old McDonald's and did a little virtual jumping around (me virtually, her really jumping) and she asked me to bring her home three doggies from Israel. So, at least now I know what to get for one of the kids before I leave here. Hopefully, she won't be disappointed with the presents.


Tuesday was the really big day for me. My second story was workshopped in class and, since Mom workshopped my story on Sunday, I was prepared for the worst. Surprisingly, the critique was very tame. For some reason, the good stuff was glossed over fairly quickly and then they picked a part what didn't work and what still needed to be worked on. Bret gave me some incredibly useful feedback, including areas he would like me to develop much more clearly, and I actually left the class uplifted. In the car to Jerusalem after Michael Kramer's class, Noam and I had a really interesting conversation in terms of the responsibility of an Orthodox Jewish writer to the community. Noam is great and I usually don't discuss class members in the blog, but I have tremendous respect for him. A Yale alumn, he is extremely well travelled and also a very giving individual (he's worked in the clean up after Hurricane Katrina and volunteered in South Africa). Anyway, when Noam talks, I listen.

Buggy picked me and Daniel up at Binyanei Haumah which is basically the Javitz Center of Jerusalem, and we dropped Daniel off near his home in Baka. I kept hearing rave reviews of this one meat restaurant, Joy, and have been hankering to check it out. So, Buggy made us some reservations, and we headed over. It was a painful experience, really, and I was so disappointed. Made me realize that I should listen to my parents much more carefully, they always say to expect the worst and hope for the best. I should have done that, otherwise I wouldn't have been as disappointed. So, we get there on time with our reservation and of course, they don't have a table for us. We finally asked to stop waiting outside in the cold and waited instead inside in the doorway (not much better). They finally sat us at a table for 4 until the table for 2 was ready and then they moved us, right before we were ready to order. Of course, we got the worst table in the house. The little, tiny, two seater in between the kitchen and the back terrace (so that the draft was freezing and eventually they gave up keeping the door closed at all) and the foot traffic out of the kitchen. So, that was a little annoying. We both ordered soups for starters and I got the lentil while Buggy got the onion. The lentil soup was so oversalted that I couldn't eat it. Literally, two spoonfuls and I couldn't choke it down. When they came back to clear the plates, I told the waitress that the soup was too salty and I couldn't eat it. Guess what, they charged me for the soup anyway. You would think, since I told them it wasn't good and I didn't eat it, that they would have been a little bit more interested in customer service and not charge me for what I didn't consume. But fine, moving on. I made the mistake of ordering the entrecote sandwhich, as I had images of Dougie's in my mind. If three tiny slices of beef on top of one tomato and some garlic sauce slapped between a soft bun (the only good part was that the bun was really good, but I didn't want to eat so much bread so I only ate half of the bread) is considered an entrecote sandwhich, and you want some meat with your bread, I wouldn't recommend this order. Plus, the meat was way overdone and I'm a gal who likes my meat well cooked. At this point, I'm freezing, disappointed with the meal and ready to head out. We never order dessert so we just asked for the check, plus, I had to catch the 11:15 bus back to Tel Aviv and it was getting late. They were very quick with the bill but then, to add insult to injury, the hostess came by as we were counting out money for the tip and asked if we could please hurry up because she would like to seat another customer. I'll admit, I was snippy in my response, and told her that we are going as quickly as we could. I thought about contacting the manager to complain but Buggy had a good point, saying that rather than wasting our breath complaining (we weren't asking for a refund), we're just never going back there again.

Amen!

Wednesday was a little tiring as I was up until 2:00 a.m. the night before. I didn't get back to my apartment until way past Midnight and, until I spoke to all the folks at home, checked my e-mails and just unwound, it was really late. I somehow made it to class though, and once again, participated and had an interesting conversation with Professor Harvey about Alive the Son of Awake, written by Ibn Tufayl, one of the most influential Islamic philosophers of the era. Afterwards, it was American Jewish Literature class by Professor Kramer and we spent the day focusing on the poet Emma Lazarus. You might be familiar with her, as she is the one who wrote the poem at the base of the Statue of Liberty. I find it extremely cool that a Jewish poet's writing is at the base of what symbolizes a country of freedom and tolerance. After class, I managed to make the bus and headed home. Wednesday is always really exhausting for me so I was ready to fall into bed but then Lana texted about dinner. So, we headed to my favorite eatery in Tel Aviv, Pastafino, which is a pizza, pasta and salad place literally two blocks from my place. It's pretty good pizza for the kosher establishment and their salads are great, and everything is reasonably priced!

Yesterday was an extremely busy day! I made my way to the gym and got punished by Yehuda for over an hour. I also got there earlier than my training session so I could do cardio. Needless to say, it is not easy moving today. He really concentrated on the lower body with all the squats. My chest is killing too as he introduced me to all new chest exercises. First thing I did this morning was pop two Advil, otherwise, I don't think I could have made it out of the bed and into the bathroom. Anyway, after the gym, I raced home to hit the showers and pack. I had a Dr.'s appointment in Herzliya Pituach and then Tamara, her husband, and I were going to hear Bret speak at this cute little bookstore/restaurant called Tmol Shilshom in Jerusalem. It was nice to see a fluent English speaker and so my appointment wasn't as painful as expected. Unfortunately, she's sending me for some additional tests, and I have to get some blood work done next week. I hate when they draw blood, many people can't do it without brusing me big time. What can I say, I've got weird veins in my arms and unless you're extremely experienced, chances are I'm going to be hurtin next week!

Michael, Tamara and her husband, Merav, Daniel and his wife and baby, and Buggy and I represented my Creative Writing class last night. It was great listening to Bret read from his own works, he has a great reading voice, very soothing. Some of the questions asked afterwards though were really odd, including one man who wanted to know what Bret thought about Anti-Semitism, but on the whole it was a great experience. I am going to rave about the food too because my salad was awesome! I ordered The Lover and it was definitely worth it! Buggy got the fruit salad and it looked good. I think we're going to return there for subsequent events, definitely.

I slept until 10:00 a.m. today, how awesome is that? I don't remember the last time I got that much sleep, considering the fact that I crashed around 12:30. That's almost 10 hours of straight, uninterrupted sleep! Yet, I still feel like I can go back to bed and catch a few more Z's. Oh well, can't really do that today! I'm heading to Efrat for Shabbat and I haven't been there for a weekend since 1994! I have a feeling that the area has probably changed a bit since the last time I was there, so it will really be interesting to see the neighborhood.

Countdown till I come back to NYC is 20 days from today! I can't believe it, I am so excited! I keep thinking of new things I need to do when I'm back in town, and now my fear is that I won't be able to get it all done in time! Oh well, that should be the absolute worst of my problems folks.

Exciting news, I was finally officially accepted into the Creative Writing Program! I got the Masters acceptance letter on Wednesday this week, and now I'm registered and almost all of the administrative junk I've had to deal with is taken care of.

It's supposed to be stormy in Tel Aviv this weekend, not sure what it's like in NYC or Maryland but I hear it's cold, so I hope everyone is bundling up!

Literature of the day is The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus, which is the poem at the base of The Statue of Liberty.

Shabbat Shalom!