Private HolyLandHipster is in the Army Now

Well, I hope to speak to my folks before my Dad reads this blog entry. I don't want them to freak out too much. So, today was extremely productive. I am sitting in Buggy's Mom's office blogging while Buggy is across the street at a study group. We had quite a morning today in Yafo. First of all, Yafo is an extremely quaint, beautiful city at the base of Tel Aviv. Years ago, the port city was teeming with fishermen and an extremely active area for boats coming in off of the Mediterranean. Since the Namal opened up years ago, the port city doesn't really function as much but it still maintains some fabulous architecture and fish restaurant. It's in this city, which is populated primarily by Israeli Arabs, that the Customs office is located. When I went to Misrad HaKlita, they told me that I needed to go to Customs to open a file so that I could have my Zechuyot, which I need when buying a car, appliances for the apartment, sending a lift, etc.

So, Buggy and I decided that today was a good day to go down to Yafo since we spent Shabbos in Tel Aviv. We took a cab down there and told the cab driver to take us to the Meches (taxes/customs). He immediately knew where to go so I didn't need to dig anything out of my purse like the address. Nevertheless, we got to the dingy building and were handed a number. It was 493, and that was pretty high but since they had opened at 8:00 a.m. that morning and it was already 11:45, I figured a lot of folks had been through. There was one woman before us, and only 1 woman working behind the desk.

Typical.

Buggy and I settled in for a long wait. Two other people joined the line and now we were getting a little ancy because it wasn't moving and time was going by quickly. Finally, a gentelman came out and asked what we all wanted. I told him why I was there and he went in to hand me a piece of paper that said exactly what I needed in order to opent he file. Hmmm, I wish someone would have told me this BEFORE I left my apartment, I would have made sure to have all the documents.

While reading the list, though, I noticed that it said I needed my Army status. Well, I don't HAVE army status. I didn't do the army because I was in American during those years. When I asked him what the requirement was talking about, he said that it was a "big problem" that I didn't have either proof that I served or an exception and without it, I wouldn't be able to open up a file with Customs.

Well, Buggy stepped in to try to sort this all out in Hebrew. I tried to follow their conversation but they were throwing loads of words around and names of places not familiar to me. At one point, Buggy's eyes well - bugged out - so I knew something big was up. He finally turned to me to translate.

I need to go to Tel Hashomer, to the recruitment office, to work everything out with the Army. I asked him if he thinks they would draft me into the army, given my age and everything (and when I mean everything, I am referring to the fact that I am overweight and the army would probably kill me), and he said he honestly didn't know but that was what needed to be done. Then Buggy told me that he was there once, on his first day of the army, and it's not a very pleasant place. The woman in front of us online told me not to worry - the most they would keep me in the Army at 30 is 2-3 months.

What the hell?

In the cab back to my apartment, Buggy called the recruitment office at Tel Hashomer and started explaining my situation. The next thing I know, I hear him mention something about my "medical condition" and then he hung up. He was as perplexed as I am but they said I should send a fax detailing my situation and see what happens from there.

I think I'm going to avoid the fax and go down there in person on Thursday. Unless I'm physically there, it is going to take a year and a day until they get to it and I need to get customs off of my list before the wedding. Otherwise, I won't be able to bring any wedding presents into this country!

I hope they don't draft me folks. Honestly I do, and not because I wouldn't be thrilled to serve but because the timing is off. If they can hold off until after the wedding, well, maybe then I could swing it.

Worse comes to worse, the 18 year olds will all be calling me Savta Private HolylandHipster and I'm going to be panting to keep up with them during basic training.

So, Shabbos was really nice, especially once everything with my evil landlord was dealt with. Basically, my friend Jeff came by and helped even the numbers so that they couldn't gang up on me. We decided on an appropriate time for me to move out, I paid them for 6 months rent, and gave up my security deposit. Whatever, I'm not letting it upset me anymore, it's over and done with.

Buggy knew I had a rough day so he sent me 2 dozen red roses. They are gorgeous and I'm going to put up the pictures a little later on. Since my morning was spent with the landlord, and then I went out with Jeff and met Lana and Gayle F. for brunch, I was behind the 8 ball with shabbos preparations. That's when I got the call from the florist that I should be home for the delivery. I waited and waited and waited. In the meantime, Buggy came from Jerusalem and we waited together. Finally I called, since I had to run out and buy chicken otherwise Buggy and I would be eating cheerios for shabbat. They told me that apparently, the delivery guy had been here but I didn't answer my door so he left it with a neighbor.

Which neighbor?

Buggy started knocking on doors on my floor. Nope, no one had the flowers. He went upstairs and startedk knocking on those doors. Nope, two out of the three didn't have them either. I was frustrated and pressed for time, so I called the guy back and said that it was ridiculous and we weren't going to be knocking on strangers doors for the rest of the afternoon! So, he sent the delivery guy BACK to my apartment to find the flowers.

We didn't give him a tip, were we supposed to? He couldn't even tell us which apartment to go to!

Anyway, we went out and picked up some food for Shabbos. We went to Boris and Maya's for fruits and vegetables and decided to try the papaya. I've never had fresh papaya before - neither has Buggy. I was so excited about it too! I decided to save it for Kiddush on Shabbat.

On the walk home, I confided to Buggy my latest fantasy. I told him that I would love to be baked into the center of a gigantic cinnamon bun (you know, one that the Guinness Book of World Records would induct) and then eat my way out of it. I told him that I would want to be baked inside up to my waist, so I could have my arms free to grab at the delicious cake and just eat my way through the wheel. I don't think Buggy laughed that hard in his life!

Can you tell this diet has got me a bit mad?

Somehow, I managed to cook Shabbat and have time before candel lighting. But, because I spent the whole night scratching on Thursday night instead of sleeping, I ended up falling asleep at the table during dinner! Poor Buggy, he doesn't see me all week and I fall asleep before dessert. He took pity on me and helped me put everything away so I could get to bed. I was asleep by 11:30, which is extremely early for me!

Shabbos itself was nice and relaxing. We enjoyed each other's company and the food turned out ok! Then, last night, after I washed all the dishes and cleaned the apartment, we went to the movie theater Rav-Chen and saw the new Fantastic Four. Buggy LOVED it and, well, it was mindless entertainment for me. And, as long as he was really happy, it was worth it! We then went to this bar called Cerveza on Dizengof to say farewell to Lana, who is off for the next 2 months to visit her folks in the States and then go traveling with them to Italy, etc. Afterwards, we went back to the apartment and had Melavah Malka. A very enjoyable Shabbat!

As soon as Buggy gets back from his study group, I think we're going to grab a bite and then he's going to take me to the bus stop. I have to go home tonight because I have a HUGE mound of laundry I want to do tomorrow. Otherwise, it's just going to pile up and I'm going to be left with the Granny Panties again.

Happy Father's Day Dad!!! We left you a voicemail this morning, but just in case, hope today is a GREAT one!

Crave of the Day is pizza. But not just any piece of pizza will do, oh no! I want two plain slices of Shimon's pizza, with its sweet sauce and oozing cheese, it's my absolute favorite! It's going to be hard to be back in Queens before the wedding, and NOT treat myself to a slice before Buggy and I return to Israel for Sheva Brachot. Difficult, but I think I'll manage....at least, I hope I'll manage!