Shabbos was the bomb

Israeli bomb squad
Originally uploaded by holylandhipster.

In the war against jet lag, I am losing. Big time. After I lit candles yesterday, I got dressed and decided to go for a walk along the Tayelet (boardwalk). It was wonderful, while the breeze coming off of the water wrecked havoc on my hair and I bemoaned the fact that I spent the past hour under a hot iron and straightener. I walked up North until I hit the steps leading up towards the Carlton hotel, just before the marina. It took about an hour, there and back, and by the time I got into my apartment I was pretty tired. I quickly grabbed a bite to eat and went to bed, hoping that I would sleep straight from 9:00 pm until morning.

The sirens and thumping of disco music woke me up at 11:30 p.m. and I could feel my walls shaking to the beat of the music. With my eyes closed, I could practically see the flashing lights of the strobes and club sirens and I imagined the gyrating bodies glowing florescent in the black light. Sounds like downtown Tel Aviv was partying last night. Cars and vans kept driving past my windown and the music all had a similar theme - - hard core club mix. I half expected people to be dancing right outside my window, but merely spied lots of drunk folks dressed in their clubbing finest. I was taking this all in stride, until someone drove by and parked outside my window, listening to the BACKSTREET BOYS at louder than legal volumes! Clearly, Backstreet is back in Israel. I mean, if you're gonna wake me up with loud music, at least have the courtesy to play something that doesn't suck.

And now I was up. Wide. Awake. Had it been Saturday night, instead of Friday night, I would have put on a pair of jeans and gone out with the crowd. But, alas, I don't club on Shabbos and so I read my book by the light of the bathroom and thought about the answers to Slightly Mad's recent tag (which I'll address at the end of this post).

Six hours later, I was finally asleep (if you're keeping track, that means I didn't get back to sleep before 5:30 a.m.) And didn't wake up until 2:30 in the afternoon!

(Side note, but I'm watching some show on Channel Two right now and it's literally the Israeli Kevin Federline on TV! I hope to g-d he doesn't drop trau and start rapping).

I had plans for today that didn't quite happen, since I slept most of it away. Shul was obviously over and I looked, and felt, like a boxer who took one too many right hooks over night.

Yup. Two black eyes.

I checked on my water supply and, since I was down to less than half a bottle. decided to just spend the day resting and reading in bed. I was halfway into my new book, The Bitch in The House when I heard the commotion outside. Someone was yelling in Hebrew on a bullhorn and, in my sleepy haze, I didn't bother trying to decipher the words. From the tone, it sounded like an angry ice cream truckdriver barking out his wares, but minus the jingly music that brings the kids running back in the States. Once the sirens went off though, I decided it was time to take a look outside my window.

Less than 48 hours in country, and welcome to my first Chefetz Chashood (unknown object that could possibly be a bomb). And just my luck, the package was right on the corner.

I decided it was time to put on my bra. And some deoderant. And my contact lenses.

Semi-clothed, I yanked up the blinds and took in the scene. Israel's "bomb squad" consisted on ONE man. He was wearing a heavy flack jacket and a green motorcycle helmet with the visor pulled down. He was walking back and forth between the object and the truck, pulling on two long, white strings, and alternating between pushing up and down his clear visor. So interesting to watch him.

Meanwhile, three police cruisers had sectioned off the intersecting blocks (I'm on a pretty busy corner close to the beach, with 10 small hotels within the immediate vicinity, and loads of foot traffic on a Shabbos afternoon in the summer). It was rough taking in the entire scene and, had it not been Shabbos, I would have taken some photos. But I was captivated by Mr. bomb squad and the fact that the people who had to wait for him to blow up the package, were looking...PISSED!

Seriously, these folks did not want to wait for anything! They were arguing with the police officers who told them they couldn't continue walking to their destinations. When one officer's back was turned, three people who quickly sneak around him/her and walk towards the beach. Their facial expressions reminded me of the New York City subways, during rush hour, when there's a sick passenger on board. It's the cross between concern, inconvenience and hard core annoyance. You're concerned for the passenger because you'd be a really lousy person, with no heart, if you didn't feel bad for someone who got sick, inconvenience because it means that you'll be late for work, and really annoyed that it should happen while YOU were on that train.

And then the people started to turn around and run backwards. I'm not sure what Mr. bomb squad said to get people scared, but that's when I decided to drain the last of my water. If the place was going to go up, I was going to at least be well hydrated.

The end of this story is that, thankfully, it turned out to be a package of towels and no bomb. And Mr. bomb squad threw the contents of the package into the back of his truck, stripped down to his pants and sweated-through t-shirt, and then drove away.

Talk about adrenaline rush. My heart had been beating in my stomach the entire time and I with all this energy to burn all I wanted to do was change into my gym gear and go hit the bag for a while. But, there were still four more hours to Shabbos and I left my boxing gloves at home (I can't wait till the rents come with them in Oct., I could really use a good workout).

The rest of Shabbos was relaxing and uneventful. I'm thinking about popping an ambian tonight so I can try to get my body clock set with the rest of the Country before getting up tomorrow and going to meet my potential landlord at what will hopefully be my apartment for the next two years.

OK, and now on to answer the tag.

1. One book that changed your life?
Hmmm, this was pretty difficult, but I'm going to have to say "Interpreter of Maladies" by Jhumpa Lahiri. I read one of her short stories while attending a Fiction Writing Course at the Gotham Writer's Workshop, and it inspired me to pursue my dream of becoming a writer. The rest of the book has kept me on the path to realizing my dream, which has led me here to Israel.

2. One book you have read more than once?
I have so many, it's hard to choose! I'm going to go with "Twelve" by Nick McDonnell. I was in awe that such an amazing book was written by a 17 year old, and it also helped that Hunter Thompson wrote such a glowing endorsement. The book lived up to its hype and is definitely a must-read (I found specific nuances that I missed the first couple of times around that really helped me get where the author was coming from).

3. One book you would want on a desert island?
"The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay" by Michael Chabon. I absolutely adore this book, could read it over and over and over again. It has everything I could want to keep me interested: action, war, sexual ambivalence, coming-of-age, Jewish-in-theme, personal journeys, and the comics.

4. One book that made you laugh?
Easy. "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People: A Memoir" by Toby Young. I was rolling on the floor laughing with this one, as Young's hijinks with Graydon Carter and Vanity Fair were legendary.

5. One book that made you cry?!
I can't pick one, because two stand out in my mind. The first is "Eric" by Doris Lund. I read this in high school and cried each night until its completion. A true story written by a mother who loses her son to cancer. Her writing was superb, and so heartfelt, but it also gave the reader such tremendous insight and detail into Eric's perspecitve and the author's view of death and dying. I read this when I was a pre-teen and it left a huge impression. The second book is "The Letters of Jonathan Netanyahu: The Commander of the Entebbe Operation 1963-1976". One of my heroes in life, this book made me shed many tears. How could you not while reading the personal and private thoughts of a man who died saving hundreds of Jews?

6. One book you wish had been written?
"Tripping on the Red Carpet: A tell-all memoir and survival guide to celebrity publicity". It would have been great if someone had written a book about the world of celebrity PR, before I decided to go into the field. With so many juicy stories out there, I bet it would be a best-seller!

7. One book you wish had never been written?
"Be More Chill" by Ned Vizzini. Another young wunderkid writer who had been hyped all over Manhattan, I had to read his books for a client. The first two were okay but this one was so terrible that, when I got to the ending, I literally yelled: "You've GOT to be kidding me" and then launched the book clear across the room. I didn't like the ending. Not at all.

8. One book you are currently reading?
In addition to the book mentioned above, I'm in the midst of "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand. Been meaning to read that for years and have finally started. I'm not that far along and am still waiting for the magic to begin.

9. One book you've been meaning to read?
"Love in the Time of Cholera" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I loved "Memiors of my Melancholy Whores" and so I wanted to read this and also "One Hundred Years of Solitutde". If Marquez is as good as Paulo Coehlo, I'm going to be a happy reader!

10. Now tag 5 people:
So, my five people don't have blogs but are voracious readers and I would love for them to post their responses to my blog!

Jenny S.
Julie W. (a.k.a Jules)
Ilya W.
Shulamit H.
Marnina A.

Layla Tov!