The Pervert of Jerusalem

I have less than 30 minutes to finish packing, close up shop and make my way to the airport for my flight back to the Big Apple! So, I'm going to try to use brevity in this post but man, the past 24 hours has been rife with so much fun stuff to write about.

Since I haven't seen the fiance since Motzei Shabbos, yesterday afternoon was reserved as Buggy's day. I spent Tuesday night, after my last day of school, hanging at the laundromat with Lana. She kept me company as I wanted to do all my laundry before leaving for the States. Then, after a quick dinner, I got back to the apartment and started packing. Yesterday morning, I had a massive tuition bill for Bar Ilan that needed to be paid ASAP. So, I woke up bright and early and hit the bank to take care of the tuition. Now, Bar Ilan can go into the Chag with a few thousands more shekels from me.

I got back to my apartment, showered, blow dried and ironed my hair (that's a 2 hour process folks) and then raced to the bus station on Arlozorov for a bus to Jerusalem. Now, my bus driver was either really reckless or really marvelous, because it took less than 30 minutes to get to Jerusalem! Of course, Buggy wasn't ready to pick me up because the trip should have taken much longer. When I called to let him know I was waiting on our corner for him to come get me, he had to first leave the office and get into the car.

And then, some dignitary decided to helicopter into Jerusalem and Buggy got stuck. For more than 30 minutes! I was so frustrated, just standing on the corner, that I asked him where he was and started walking. I figured by the time the police let him go, I would have gotten to his car. Finally, when I was midway to Buggy's destination, the cop let them go and he picked me up right near Binanei Haumah. We had to go back towards the Central bus station to turn around anyway, and I was just so happy to see him that I wasn't really paying attention. I glanced out the window, as Buggy made a U-turn right on the corner of Jaffa and Shai something (can't remember the name now, but it's up the block from the bus station) and look right at this man who is baring his big stomach. I can't get his face out of my head either, he had this great big smile and was wearing a beat-up grey hat. At first, I was wondering why this guy was lifting up his shirt to show everyone his stomach, and then my eyes went lower and I realized what he was really showing us!

I think I screamed. Buggy can't be sure cause he was driving but it was nasty! Folks, beware, there is a pervert on the loose in Jerusalem and he's flashing the world! I turned around to make sure my mind wasn't playing tricks on me, and the pervert was crossing the street with Jim and the Giant Peaches hanging out. People were getting out his way fairly quickly, which didn't surprised me.

Think the Lord is sending me a message not to go to the States for Pesach?

Nah.

So, after I tried to erase this nasty image from my mind, Buggy and I went to Caffit on Emek Refaim to work on his wedding list and the wording for the invitation. Unfortunately, we ended up going to a Levaya yesterday at the cemetary at the entrace to Jerusalem. It was very sad, and Buggy said something about how life is too short and we shouldn't wait until August to get married.

His Mom agreed with that statement, that life was precious and every minute counts.

And so, I called my Rabbi from Michlalah and asked if I could bring my fiance and 2 witnesses to his house, would he be able to marry us. Fortunately, he had a Ketubah hanging around and so Buggy and I were off to get married...

OK, just kidding about the whole Rabbi part. Dad, don't print this out cause I think Mom would be pretty upset since we are spending a lot of time on this wedding.

But it was something to think about, life being short and making every minute count.

Buggy and I spent some time alone between the Levaya and going to his Grandparents to say goodbye before the Chag. After a quick stop to say farewell to Buggy's parents, we went to dinner at Selina's or Serena's (not sure the name) which is right next door to Joy on Emek Refaim. We had a very, very romantic dinner and the food was great! Now, this is a restaurant I could get behind. They serve very, very reasonable portions people! It was perfect as both Buggy and I are on some serious Wedding lent.

Before Buggy dropped me off at the Tachanah to take the bus back to Tel Aviv, I went to the restroom and spent 10 minutes trying to figure out how to turn on the tap. I felt like the biggest moron. I looked under the sink, next to the sink, on top of the faucet - nothing. Now, I always carry Purrell with me but it's gross not to wash your hands. But, I had been in there for so long I didn't want Buggy to think anything was wrong, so I made my way back to the table. Once at the table, I told him about the faucet and, since he is going to be building and designing bathrooms one day, told him never to make such an intricately designed bathroom that the patrons can't figure out how to turn on the water.

Well, this piqued his interest, and so he made his way back to check out the bathroom. He came back 5 minutes later with a big smile on his face. Thinking that he figured out how to turn on the water, I got even more embarressed. And then he told me that not only was I right, that there was no level to turn on the water, but when he told the waitress she was shocked.

Get this: someone STOLE the handle that opens up the faucet in the bathroom!

That must have been one really cool handle.

First thing I did when I got to the Tachanah, after saying a sad goodbye to Buggy, was hit the bathroom for a hand scrubbing.

And that was the past 24 hours in a nutshell!

Wish me a Nesiah Tovah folks, I HATE flying alone! Turbulance absolutely freaks me out! May G-d have mercy on me and grant me a safe, smooth ride.

Next post, B"H, will be from New York!