Monday, September 17, 2007


Ever wonder, after 3 days of Yom Tov, what kind of conversation one would have with their new mother-in-law? I bet you never thought it would have to do with nursing homes. Yup, that was me. Somehow, and lord knows I have no idea how it happened, but on the 3rd day of Yom Tov I asked my mother-in-law what she thought about nursing homes. We actually had a wonderful conversation about it and her stance was very informative. It was such an unremarkable conversation that I promptly forgot about it when Buggy showed up at lunch after his minyan finished. Which is why, when we were in the car yesterday, I mentioned it to him because I finally remembered. He laughed hysterically and then ad-libbed (So Mum, where WOULD you like us to put you in a few years? And no, I'm not bringing it up because you're turning 60 this week).

I completely forgot about her 60th birthday this week, and I certainly wasn't asking the question because I want to put her away (G-d forbid!), I was just curious.

Anyway - highlights of the 3 day holiday:

1) Ate like a complete pig - Buggy and I were elated that yesterday was a fast day. We needed to take a break from tons of heavy meals. Although, Buggy's Aunt made this chocolate Kahlua cake from the Kosher Palate that was amazing. Well worth the calories.

2) We spent the holidays with 2 seminary girl from HAFTR (Hebrew Academy Five Towns and Rockaways) and it was deja vu all over again. Last year, I spent the holiday with 2 seminary girls and I tell you all these schools tell the same stories for scare tactics. I'm starting to think that these stories are just Orthodox Jewish Urban Legends gone wild but, I guess if these young women learn the lesson NOT to get wasted at bars in Tel Aviv and pass out in cabs, then they're effective.

3) Buggy's 10 year old cousin asks us where babies came from and was "gay" meant. We told her to go ask her Mother/Uncle. Well, she asked her Uncle who gave her a very honest answer about eggs and sperm and fertilization. So, as we were leaving, she asked us how the sperm got to the egg to fertilize it. Yeah, we left chuckling - and without answering!

4) My salmon, carrot kugel and blondies were a BIG hit! Nice to know that, in a pinch, I can produce some good stuff.

5) Shofar blowing the first day was excrutiating, sounded like the ram was dying all over again. Fortunately, he was much better on the second day.

6) Went to services on the first day with Shimon Peres, the new President of Israel. It was great - tons of SHABAQ guys standing the whole time. Slap an oreo outfit on them and they could pass as really frum yids davening.

7) Did tashlich in my MIL's backyard pond - threw in the bread even though Buggy didn't think it was such a good idea...Now there are 10 bloated pieces of Challah floating in the pond and, like bobbing for apples, the neighborhood cats are trying to eat up my sins. Not sure if there is anything poetic or ironic about that but give me a few days and I'll come up with something.

8) Slept in the afternoon on both days of Rosh Hashana - now Buggy and I will have a sleepy New Year. Oy!

9) Wore a sheitel to shul on the first day because my hat didn't match my outfit, and not one of my MIL's friends recognized me. Who knew a wig could really make you incognito. It was great!

10) Drank a ridiculous amount of 21 year old scotch during Friday night dinner. It was such a nice way to start the New Year!

Yesterday, Buggy and I tried to limit our errands because of the Fast but we ended up spending a lot of time in Town. We're still trying to get married officially in this Country and it's taking a while. Who knew that during Aseret Yemei Teshuva, the Rabanut gets out of work by Noon. What are they during this week? Flogging themselves for their sins all afternoon? Fortunately, we changed the clocks back so now we're only 6 hours ahead of the States. The great part was that the fast ended by 6:05 p.m. last night, so Buggy and I were okay and had some pasta. Unfortunately, we went food shopping during the day and I stocked up on lots of stuff that we probably don't really need yet. Oh well, I definitely will eventually get to everything.

What a busy day! We woke up really early and had to leave the house so we could get to the Rabanut before they closed. Well, the good news is that we officially started a file but now we have to go back tomorrow at 11:00 a.m. to stand in front of the Beit Din. I hope to G-d that they will recognize our marriage and give us what we need so that we can move on. The paperwork is far from over - as is dealing with the government entities - but at least we've got the foot in the door. We also went to Maccabi so I could get on with the genetic testing. It's a big PAIN to do anything with the health insurance people in this country but I'm really trying. Anyway, we managed to make an appointment for tomorrow, so at 1:00 p.m. I have to go to the clinic to take the blood tests. Meanwhile, we are in the midst of getting a Succah! Stay tuned P"G for some pictures in a few days! The man who is building our Succahh is hopefully going to be here on Wednesday morning and is doing everything for us! I can't wait to go out to the Kenyon and buy some Succah decorations. We got a really nice one actually as a wedding gift, but I saw these strings of Chinese lanterns that I would love to get for the Succah. Any suggestions on what else we should put it the Succah would be great! Ooh - I can't WAIT for Succot!

I was able to see some of the Emmy's on YouTube which was great. The parody by Family Guy characters were absolutely hysterical and it was nice to see a tribute to the Soprano's. I also heard that FOX censored Sally Field's anti-war diatribe, very interesting. Gotta love that Republican Rupert.

Well, hopefully tomorrow's blog will be full of good - successful - news!

We hope your Rosh Hashana was meaningful at that this New Year is already a blast!

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