Gay Cowboys

Sorry for the title but I was strapped with an appropriate title for this post and then, on my HOT cable, came a commercial for Brokeback Mountain. I've seen this movie already but Israeli's will get their opportunity to watch it on TV this coming Friday night. Oh well, I'm going to please g-d be entertaining again so I guess I'll miss the second viewing.

Its been quite a busy few days! I begged El Jeffe for a ride to Jerusalem on Tuesday afternoon and, true to form, I arrive at Buggy's parents house a few minutes before candlelighting. The ride was a lot of fun though, with Nechama, Rachel and Oren sharing the trek. I sat with Buggy's apple pie and low-fat cheese cake on my lap the entire way to Jerusalem, and was thrilled that at least El Jeffe kept the car cool enough so that it wouldn't spoil.

Shavuot night in Buggy's family is amazing! We got to his Aunt's house and she had three tables set up with bowls and platters full of anything you can image you would want to put into sushi! There were stacks of nori, platters of fresh salmon, bowls of sticky rice, caviar, wasabi, soy sauce, egg and tofu and this amazing spinach and sesame salad that was divine! Buggy and I polished off almost an entire platter of salmon by ourselves! I used some chopsticks and Buggy alternated between his fingers and a fork. We had such a good time then we were both stuffed by the time dessert came out. I asked for some tea and managed to get a bag called Hot Love, which is this amazing raspberry and vanilla flavored tea. I need to find this in Israel because it was so yummy, but it's made by a company called Pompadour and I've never seen that brand in Israel. Anyway, I was so exhausted from lack of sleep that I didn't join Buggy at any of the shiurim. I was a bit embarressed about it, but Buggy stayed up until the last shiur at 4:00 a.m. and said he learned enough for the both of us. Shavuot lunch was also really nice as we ate by family friends of my parents who were visiting their Rechavia apartment from Queens. After lunch, we both went to our own rooms and passed out. Next thing I knew, Yom Tov was over and Buggy and I were making our way to the Mall to run some errands. I felt a bit weird, celebrating only one day of Shavuot, but I quickly got over that when I booted up the Finale of Heroes. Well worth it!

Thursday was nice and hot in Jerusalem but I spent most of the day indoors as Buggy had to work. Then, around 6:00 p.m., we headed back to Tel Aviv to catch Bracha and Anat's performances at the Tel Aviv Museaum. They were absolutely incredible! Both were accompanied by the Holon orchestra on pieces by Mendelsohn and Bach and then Bracha and Anat closed off the night with an incredible solo duo. It was magical! Buggy and I had stars in our eyes as we left the museaum.

And then, Friday, is was back to Jerusalem for the weekend. We walked to the parking lot to pick up Buggy's car and I was drenched in sweat from the heat and humidity! I need to get some more flary skirts cause it's hot in pants these days! I was looking forward to a relaxing Shabbos and then the inevitable happened. And, when I say inevitable, I mean that I'm shocked it hasn't happened already!

Buggy's parents entertained and I was helping with the soup course. For some reason, someone put the extra dining room table chair directly behind my chair so it was difficult to maneuver. And, as I was bringing one of Buggy's parents guests her bowl of soup, I tripped on the chair and spilled the soup next to her arm! She got flustered and upended the kiddish cup of red wine. I was so embarresed and I felt awful, as if I had scalded her but fortunately I missed her. And, of course Buggy's Mom was using her white tablecloth. Well, I ran into the kitchen to get a paper napkin to mop up the spill and when I got back they were pouring seltzer over the stain, which miraculously lifted up and almost disappeared (but not quite as I wasn't that lucky).

I felt awful the entire night, even though Buggy tried to make me feel better about it. His parents and the other guests were really nice about it too, but I still felt really bad. I didn't sulk though, but I did spend the entire meal apologizing to this woman. I wouldn't have felt so bad but she made some comment that because of me, she was scared Buggy's parents wouldn't invite her back. It was a mean comment, she should have just let it go, but by saying what she did it just rubbed the whole thing in. Anyway, I told Buggy I no longer help when it comes to soup. I am good with the stuff that doesn't spill and stain - like bottles of closed soda and the salt.

Shabbat day was really nice, we ate by his brother's apartment in Katamon so at least we got in a bit of a walk and got to bond with the kids. It was really hot though and when we got back to his parents house, I was sweaty! We patted ourselves on the back for making it in the heat and then both went to sleep again. We do a lot of sleeping when we're at his parents place, and spend more time alone in separate beds then we do together! We both practically slept through Shabbos and then on Saturday night we went BACK to the Mall so that we could buy a birthday card and take out some money.

And that's when I found out about the invitations for the wedding. So, the people doing the invitations for us are really wonderful folk. So much so, that they offered to have their daughter bring the Israel and Europe invitations to Israel for us for free, as she was coming to the Holy Land for the Chag. Well, of course I was thrilled with her offer, and kept waiting to get the call to pick them up. The call came really early on friday morning, when she called to let us know that El Al lost her daughter's luggage and somehow the invitations went to Rome. Fortunately, they found our now Italian invites and they were delivered safe and sound to Ramat Beit Shemesh. Now, all Buggy and I have to do is make arrangements to go get them.

They could have been delivered to Eilat, I'm just so thrilled that they are in this Country and in one piece! I can't wait to see the invitations too, it will make the proximity of the wedding that much closer!

This morning, I met with my Kallah teacher for my very first Kallah lesson. It was a little unnerving meeting with her in a public restaurant in Jerusalem, but we really have no other choice in the matter. So, we met and spent almost two hours together! My Kallah teacher is a lovely French/Israeli woman who is married to a Rabbi in one of the Yishuvim. She is very sweet and her English was excellent, which was an initial concern of mine. Anyway, I was so flustered though about the topic that when I offered to pay for the bill and went to sign the check, I completely forgot to leave a tip! I am so embarressed, especially since we plan on meeting at this same location for the rest of my lessons! Hopefully, next time I'm in Jerusalem I'll be able to swing by and give the waitress a tip. She worked hard and didn't deserve the accidental shaft.

After the Kallah classes, I walked over to the El Al office and waited on the long line to convert my open ticket to a scheduled flight. They were pretty efficient and pretty soon I wasn't waiting for the El Al folks but for Buggy, who was stuck in traffic on King George street on his way to pick me up. We had a very quick lunch and then he dropped me off at the Tachanah with my huge knapsac. I told him that I wanted to walk from the Arlozorov bus station to my apartment and he warned me that my bag was too heavy. He said it was roughly the same weight as an Israeli Army radio and that I should be careful. Well, that just sounded like a big challenge for me and since I had equal distribution on the knapsac straps, I was excited about the prospect. I filled up my water bottle and got ready for the trek.

When I got the gate for the 480 bus, I saw the huge line and immediately joined the que. Well, I missed the 3:00 p.m. bus because it was too full but managed to be the fourth person in line for the next bus. I waited patiently with everyone on the line, sandwhiched between two sweaty and smelly gentelman but holding my breath so it wouldn't bother me. And then, out of nowhere, this woman with a shaitel and designer handbag tried to cut the line. Well, another woman on the line wasn't having it, so she started to yell at this woman to go to the back of the line. There are way too many times that this has happened to me, and so I was happy that this woman was making a statement. And boy were they going at it. The shaitel woman was screaming back that she could cut whenever she wanted to and no one could tell her what she could or could not do. Meanwhile, the shaitel woman had a daughter with her, a teenager with a pouchy tummy sucking on what looked like an iced lemonade. Well, next thing I know, the bus pulls up and suddenly this daughter had elbowed her way past ME and was pushing her way onto the bus. The woman screaming at the shaitel lady was saying she was going to go report her and the shaitel lady told her to go ahead. I looked up at the young girl, and watched as she smiled - she SMILED! - at her Mother and told her to just ignore the "crazy" woman and get on the bus. Well, I was now pretty pissed because this girl cut me in line. It was the principle of the matter! And what was worse was that she wore the garb of someone who is "frum" and acted like a complete pig.

I got my ticket and made my way to the back of the bus, taking a seat diagonal from the girl, who was waiting for her Mother to get on the bus.

I put my bag onto the seat and asked her: Are you dati?

She asked me why I wanted to know that information?

I said, you look dati based on the way you're dressed. And I asked her a second time.

Again, she asked me why I wanted to know.

So I told her that she should be absolutely ashamed as a religious girl that she acted in such a way. I told her that what she did was a terrible Chilul Hashem! And then I switched to English, because it's much easier for me to speak in English, and I just let it all come out. I said how disgusting her behavior was and how terrible it was that she did what she did with a big smile on her face.

I didn't talk long because I saw that nothing I said hit home, she still had that big assed smile on her face. It was so ugly, she was so ugly. I was so ashamed to be religious and, at that moment, was ashamed of this woman and her daughter. I wanted to tell this woman that she failed as a Mother, that she raised such a child without the basic Derech Eretz. I wanted to rip her shaitel off her head because it represents Tzinut and she acted in a manner that was not modest. But mostly, I wanted someone to come and force them off the bus because even in Israel there are rules in which you must abide by.

But instead, I pulled out my iPod and plugged myself in. I looked out the window at the beautiful scenery flanking Highway 1 and watched the green roll away as we headed towards Tel Aviv. And, once we got to the bus station, I walked all the way home carrying the 50+ pound knapsac. I arrived soaked through with sweat but feeling relaxed and refreshed, happy that I didn't keep my opinions inside to fester and that I told the girl how I felt.

I'm tired but I'm forcing myself to stay up because Office Space will be on TV in a few minutes. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day running some more Aliyah related errands. Namely, I have to go back to the Student Authority to hopefully get the signoff on my paper which will reimburse me for my tuition. Then, depending on the time, it's off to Macabi to have a chat with the Office Manager about how they've been stealing money from me for every single month since the day I signed up with them. Here's hoping I won't need a lawyer when I'm done.

Tomorrow is Memorial Day in the States and I hope everyone enjoys the Parade, supports our Troops still fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, eats LOTS of BBQ and soaks up the sun either in Central Park or on the Beach in the Hamptons!