Happy Birthday and Everybody Loves Bubby

Before I continue with this post, I must wish my sister Rivka a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I can't believe you are 27 years old! Where has time gone? Just yesterday, we were in high school, sharing a room, taking the van to Central together, fighting over the noise at night, etc. Now, you're no longer just my sister, but you're also wife, daughter-in-law, Mommy and Aunt Ricka! My wish to you this year is that it should be full of happiness, good health, fulfillment, laughter, joy, simchot, success and that all of your prayers will come true. I miss you tons and can't wait to see you in February! Happy Birthday!

I had meant to include this apologize in my blog from last night, but I am still a bit off my game, so I decided to blog about Bubby this morning.

Back when I was a Junior AE at Dan Klores, I was given a coveted job to do. I was asked to pitch a Pro Player and NFL QB Club story. Basically, Pro Player was issuing the Top 10 list of NFL QB jersey's sold in 1999. I was given the list and told to go ahead and get hits (which in plain speak is sending the information to reporters who put in in the newspaper) in the Top 10 markets. The number one Jersey sold that year was Brett Favre from the Green Bay Packers, the #2 jersey that year was Kordell Stewart over at the Pittsburgh Steelers. Now, I was still green but really happy to get the assignment since the NFL QB Club was a marquee client for the firm and working with that account was a big step up for me. I obviously wanted to do a kick-ass job and set about the task of getting hits in 20 newspapers (most major markets have at least 2 big papers, such as the Chicago Sun-Times and the Chicago Tribune). I was on a roll, going to my boys at the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel first and landed some good coverage for Brett, making my way to Miami to get some good ink in the Herald, etc. I finally got to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette and spoke to the Steeler beat writer.

I was excited. I was so excited that I was doing really well with the pitching. So excited, that I got stupid.

I gave Ed my spiel, and he listened, and told me he would include a brief in the next days's notebook section. Then, just as we were hanging up, he asked me if Bubby Brister was on the list. Now, I didn't know who Bubby Brister was but I had the top 50 list and I went ahead and looked for his name. Sure enough, he was on the list. But he was #48 on the list.

I didn't think anything of it and told the reporter where Bubby stood on the list. He thanked me, we hung up, and I promptly forgot the conversation.

Next morning, I floated into work, gleeful at the number of hits I was amassing for the dual client pitch. And that's when the shit hit the fan.

For all you avid football fans, Bubby Brister used to play for the Pittsburgh Steelers before he went over to the San Francisco 49ers. I guess the fans of Pittsburgh weren't so forgiving of his defection to the warm, sunny west coast. Anyway, good ol' Ed at the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette wrote the following headline: Nobody Loves Bubby and proceeded to write an entire article about how Brister's jersey barely made it to the top 50 roster. Obviously, Bubby's folks, the people over the NFL QB Club and everyone else involved were not pleased with the negative ink.

BUT, it gets worse! The Sports Business Daily which is an electronic roundup of all sports stories, decided to include the Bubby story in that day's daily digest. This was sent out to thousands of people in the sports community, media world, advertisers, etc. So, now we add the number of media impressions by including both the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette AND The Sports Business Daily. That's a significant number of eyeballs.

AND, if that wasn't bad enough, it just so happens that Bubby Brister held a press conference THAT VERY MORNING to discuss an injury. First question asked by a member of the press:

"Bubby, what do you think of this article that no one is buying your jerseys?"

Bubby answered humbly: "I'm just really glad they still let me play the game".

It took over a year before Peter (ZT"L) gave me another NFL QB Club assignment, and Scott was left to pick up the pieces. I cried in his office (again folks, I'm 22 years old and this is my first job, so I shed some tears when I really messed up!) and he just looked at me in disbelief. I'll never forget what he said when we went over exactly what happened!

He told me: When you fuck up, you do a really good job. That was very true.

Had it been a positive story, and I had gotten the same exactly coverage (recap: major print newspaper, a "wire" and sports TV, trifecta of mediums) I would have been hailed a hero. Instead, I was relegated to pitching the "bottom feeder" clients for a few months as punishment.

SO, here is my apology. I am sorry to Bubby Brister for being stupid and NOT thinking about what the reporter was asking, and not recognizing that he was looking to snowball you in the paper. I am sorry that my inexperience in PR affected you, and I'm really sorry if you felt any shame or embarressment from the story.

I apologize for the people over at Pro Player and The NFL QB Club for the mistake that caused a lot of heartache and problems to people at both organizations.

I apologize to Scott Miranda my mentor and good friend, who had to take the heat for my mistake and deal with the consequences that rained down upon him from above (and boy, did it pour).

Finally, I apologize to Ed over at the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. What you did to me was really lousy, taking advantage of my inexperience to get the dirt on a story that should have just been a nice piece about Kordell Stewart's jersey sale. I am only sorry for all the years I've retold this story and used various degrees of inappropriate language to refer to you. I am extremely grateful because you taught me a very important lesson, but I still hate the way it happened.

Wow, I feel like this weight has been lifted! I've been carrying around the guilt behind the Bubby Brister incident for such a long time, now I think I can finally move on.

Song of the day, a dedication to Ed, is The Rat by The Walkmen.

I've been procrastinating all morning. It's Noon and I'm still in PJ's, having slept in until 10:00 a.m. I ate a quick breakfast and then responded to a number of e-mails and cleaned up a bit since Edna (our cleaning lady) is coming at 2:00 p.m. Now that my blog is updated, I have to hop into the shower and get going. I need to pick up a few provisions for Shabbat. I was invited out for dinner tonight, and they requested that we pick up some dessert so I'm going to try to get something on Dizengoff street, and then tomorrow I plan on laying low here at home. I just want to sleep and try to get rid of these bags under my eyes. I still feel like I was hit by a truck, and I really want to feel better before Yom Kippur. My plans for Saturday night are very simple: another load of laundry and work. I need to edit my two stories before the final class on Thursday. I'd like to get a lot done before Yom Kippur because I don't have Wednesday really to work on the pieces (I have to register at school for Fall semester, and I hear that will take forever). I'm looking forward to my Chag break though, next Friday I will be a free gal and then the countdown to the enslaught begins!!!

First, Fuma, Hannah and Liora will be in town. I heard a couple of other folks are thinking about coming too, and it will be nice to see them as well. Then, Mom and Dad will be heading this way! Immediately following their departure, Bracha and Yotam show up for 3 WEEKS!!! Plus, I get to go to one of Bracha's performances with the Israel Philharmonic, which should be amazing. As soon as Bracha and Yotam clear out, Uncle Norman and Toby come in for Netanel's wedding and that should it for a while. A couple of my guy friends are toying with trips in November, but I can't count on it happening for sure. If it does happen though, I will be super happy to see everyone!

October should, IM"H, be a great month!

Wishing you all a Shabbat Shalom!

Forgiveness

I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness today, and not just because I've been making my rounds of Mechilah phone calls, but because Yom Kippur is rapidly approaching. NJOP, the National Jewish Outreach Program, recently launched a website called Project Forgiveness where people go online and post their apologies to people/for things they've done wrong this past year. Personally, I posted a number of items a few weeks ago and think the site is a great outlet for people. But, I also believe that it's important to go face to face with someone you've wronged and ask them directly for forgiveness.

Tonight, I had to ask forgiveness from one of my Upper West Side friends and it was very hard. Primarily, it was difficult because we had a rough year as friends and we both did a lot of things wrong. I did the asking the right way, telling him all of things I did that was bad (i.e. mostly saying mean things about him behind his back, etc.) and he reciprocated in kind. And I have to say, that is the hardest part of asking forgiveness. The rehashing of all of the hurtfull things done to each other over the year is painful, but understandable. Hopefully, this year will be a much better one for both of us.

I've left the immediate members of my family for last because, inevitably, they are the ones you hurt the most. I have a lot to feel sorry about for this past year, and much of it took place within the span of time between moving out of the City and then moving to Israel. Fortunately, I have a few more days to talk to each and every one of them and beg them to forgive me.

Unfortunately, we don't always have the opportunity to ask someone for forgiveness face to face. There are a number of people I need to ask forgiveness from, and so I'd like to take a moment now to publicly ask for their forgiveness.

Abba (ZT"L) - I'm sorry I didn't visit you more often in the nursing home, and I'm sorry I wasn't able to do what you asked me to do the last time we spoke. I know that I've done some things to dissappoint you, and I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. I wish I could do things differently, but it's too late now. I just hope that you can forgive me for my actions this past year.

The girls of Dira 3 - Twelve years ago, I did something horrible to the girls in Dira 3 at Machal. The first day at school, I met my roommates (I had gone potluck) and decided that I didn't want to room with them for the year. So, I singlehandedly switched around three of the rooms, leaving a lot of people really hurt and upset. I ended up with a great room in the apartment, and I know a lot of the other girls were miserable as a result. I still feel guilty for what happened and, if I could find out where each and every one of those girls now lives, I would call them up and ask them for forgiveness. Obviously since I mentiion it here, it still bothers me tremendously. It was very wrong of me to do, and I am truly sorry.

The ex - I'm really sorry for the way things ended between us, and especially for hurting you. I know you're now very happy, and I wish the two of you all the best in the world.

Anyway, Marnina just called so I'm going to go talk to her and ask her for forgiveness too!

Have a good night!

The Porcelin Diety

Before 1:00 a.m. today, I never really thought about the term Praying to the Porcelin god. But, after spending all morning prostrated in front of my can, I realized why that phrase makes sense. Cause when you're alone and sick, and you're fighting through the waves of illness and the pain is so bad that you just want it all to end, you start praying. And I'm not talking about opening up a siddur, going through Shema or Ashrei praying, I mean conversation with the One above and begging for the hurt to go away praying.

I have food poisioning. Fortunately, I recognized what I have because I've had it before. The culperate in both instances were similar and from the same family: fish. Last night, I was so excited to make dinner in my apartment, so I went to Supersol and picked up a package of frozen tuna fillets. They were a little too brown for my taste, I tend to go for the fresh red cuts at Fairway, but I really wanted to make fresh fish for dinner so I thought those would do. I came home and fired up my special, new fish grill pan and put another pan on the second burner for the sauted vegetables I was making to accompany the tuna. I cooked it up so that it had the nice grill marks on each side, made sure that the fish was cooked so that it was medium to well done (again, as I like it) and then sat down for a nice dinner or tuna and mixed vegetables.

Dinner wasn't exactly sitting right but I ignored it and went about my evening. When Ari called to tell me he was up for meeting out, I got dressed and met him at the new bar across the street from my apartment. Mid-way through my first and only beer though, I really wasn't feeling so great, and ended up heading home early. I thought perhaps it was a combination of the exterminator being in my apartment and spraying all morning (and that I sat here all afternoon even though I had aired out the place) and being slightly dehydrated. But by 3:00 am, I knew that something wasn't right.

So, I'm taking the day to recupperate. I called in to let my Professor know I am not going to make it to class, and I'm going to spend the day working on my stories instead.

Which means, I'm home if anyone wants to call me on my VOIP line. Don't be surprised though if it doesn't ring, I know some of you have noticed a busy signal. It's not because I am on the phone but because of the internet, just try back in a few minutes and it should work out.

Song of the day is New Resolution by Azure Ray, because when your head is pounding you need some soft tunes to easy the pain.

The Killers in September

The Killers
Originally uploaded by holylandhipster.

I can't believe how much i have to blog about today, it feels like a lifetime took place within the past 24 hours.

First of all, like New York Telephone I am finally ALL CONNECTED! That's right, the most amazing man in all of Israel came to my apartment last night and hooked up my wireless. So, not only does my laptop now work throughout the apartment, but my VOIP is finally active! When the little green light went on last night, I was so happy! Chaim Kram is literally The Man. He's going to come back after the Chagim and finish setting up my Mac, but for now, the essentials are working so that's really all that matters.

After Chaim left, I quickly got dressed and ran to meet Jeff at Blockbusters. We have completely different taste in movies, which made selecting a flick really difficult. I finally just gave in to what he wanted to see, which was Lucky Number Slevin, a movie he had already seen before. Then, we walked to the sushi place near his apartment and picked up dinner. We ended up back at his apartment where I choked on the worst spicy tuna roll I've ever attempted to eat (I left it, Jeff ended up finishing the roll it was that bad) and managed to force the rest of my vegetarian sushi down my throat before the movie really began. The movie was pretty bad, not at all like Memento and a couple of times I looked at Jeff and begged him to let me leave, but he insisted that I stay to finish the movie. Here's the deal, if I have to force myself to stay through a bad movie only to see how it's all tied up in a bow at the end, it's not the movie for me. But, that being said, it was a good film to watch last night as it put my story into perspective. Bottom line is this, the audience doesn't really have that much patience for something that doesn't make sense untii the end. It's frustrating and annoying. So, I at least walked out of his apartment at 12:15 a.m. learning a good lesson.

When I got home, I was just so happy that my phone was up and running, that I immediately made some calls. I spoke to my sisters for a bit and then called Mom and Dad. I left messages for cousin Neil, managed to catch Ari Samuel on the bus to some shiur at the Puck building, and really caught up with Shulamit in Boston. At around 2:30 a.m., I hung up the phone and crawled into bed. My alarm was going off at 6:15 a.m. so I was hoping to get some Z's in before the exterminator came.

No luck.

I think I slept for about 3 hours before I dragged my exhausted body out of bed. I look like a boxer again, two black eyes and all puffy from lack of sleep. The good news was that it was 11:45 p.m. in the States when I was all dressed, have my bags packed, and was ready for the Juke man to come kill our roaches. I texted Itai to make sure he was up, and then he called to let me know that the Juke man wasn't coming until 7:15. That was slightly annoying as I could have slept a little later, but I was on the phone with THE DUDE so I didn't care. We caught up a bit and then I had to go because I thought the bug man was at the door. False alarm. Since it was still before midnight, I decided to give Josh Dyckman another call.

Yeah, big mistake, woke him up. I felt pretty bad about it and quickly hung up after apologizing profusely. I really wanted to know how his birthday went last week and I guess I should have realized that after 11:30 p.m. might be too late to call some people.

Anyway, Itai came over with a bottle of apple infused water (it was pretty good) and we chatted a bit. He isn't feeling well today, apparently his throat is bothering him and he is running a fever, but he was all packed for some work retreat he's going on for the next few days. I was able to take a better look at his apartment and went through his CD's. Yeah, Itai has pretty bad taste in music. When I asked him who he liked, he said Mariah Carey and then I spied the Britney Spears CD in his tower and started laughing.

I think I'm going to have to make the man a mix.

And then our 22 year old Juke killer showed up and kicked us out of the apartment. As he arranged his gas mask, we made our way outside and chatted a bit more before he was finished and we were able to come back upstairs and lock the apartment. We weren't allowed back in for 4 hours, which was no problem for Itai because he was heading off to work. I, on the other hand, was homeless so I hit the laundromat.

It was great, no one was there and it was breezy this morning so I was able to work on my second story. I am writing a fictional piece about Meyer Lansky, and I hope that it will be in decent enough shape to send to Professor Hadari before the weekend. Right now, I have a pretty solid set up, just need to beef up the dialogue. After I finished my laundry, I hit a cafe for some coffee and breakfast (fruit, yogurt and some granola) and then spoke to Tamara who was fighting her way through school registration. Good thing she is doing it this week because I don't think I would be able to handle what she went through today. At least now I know what to do when I have to head to school at 8:30 next Wednesday for Fall registration. It should be very interesting.

After dropping off my laundry in my apartment (no worries, I held my breathe), I walked over to the Dizengoff mall to open up an account with Orange. I'm tired of having to run to a store for a pre-paid calling card each time I need to use my cell phone. Now, they will just take the money out of my account each month and I no longer have to worry about not having enough minutes. Granted, with my new and awesome VOIP I won't be using my cell as much but it's definitely worth it!

After the mall, I got back to my apartment and grabbed some lunch before sitting down to do some work. And when I say work, I mean WORK! I was hired by Ilya to do some consulting work for her and I can't even tell you how amazing it was to just get some PR work done. It was some interesting research for one of her clients, but it felt really nice to be productive again. I spent the hour finishing the assignment for her and then sent the document over just as the phone rang.

I guess Josh didn't hold a grudge against me for waking him because he called while walking from his apartment to his office. Of course, he totally made me jealous when he walked by my old apartment and when he discribed how gorgeous the weather has been in the City these past few days. But then he told me he bought tickets to The Killers a The Theatre at Madison Square Garden at the end of October. When Jules and I went to Across the Narrows last year, we missed The Killers because they were performing on The Shabbos. And, with a new album about to drop, I'm sure the concert is going to be amazing. I'll let you know what Josh says after the concert in a few weeks! Who knows, maybe The Killers will swing across The Middle East and head my way (hey, a gal can hope!).

And now it's 5:00 p.m. and I think I've had a pretty busy day! I am thinking about walking towards Ramat Aviv later to check out some of the cool stores I saw last week when I was in a cab. There was a Bang & Olufsen that I spied from the monit window and they always have cool things in that store.

Tomorrow is class again and I'm hoping to get to Jerusalem after sunset. Avi is making a meal for Shabbos but he said he would take a break from preparing to meet me for Mincha at the Kotel. Hopefully I'll be able to get another Mezuzah for my apartment too. Worse comes to worse, I'm going to ask Mom and Dad to bring me another one for my place in a few weeks. Right now, I only have the one from my old apartment on my front door but I need another one for my bedroom door.

Song of the day is When You Were Young the new single off of Sam's Town, the sophomore attempt by The Killers. Go to iTunes if you want the single, it's great!

Bring Back Sincerity

Arye
Originally uploaded by holylandhipster.

Meet my friend Arye, a world famous music journalist, blogger and all around good guy. Most of my Upper West Side readers know him well as Arye is the man behind the music at all of the Bang it Out parties. Arye is the second person I go to whenever I want to chat music, after my buddy Jason over at Entertainment Weekly, and chances are he either hates the band I'm into, or he has the album already and is more than happy to share the files. Anyway, I went to peruse his blog as I'm wont to do on fast days and the like, and I saw that he launched a new feature. It's called Song of the Day and he includes a recommendation along with a live link. Now, I've been doing song of the day for the past few months but am no where near the sophistication of Arye's blog with the live link. So, if you're interested in some new tunes, check out his blog!

I have 45 minutes left to this fast and I could use a drink desperately. I'm trying to keep busy and have been downloading two TV Shows for the past 17 HOURS! I kid you not! For some reason, my new episodes of Prison Break and Grey's Anatomy and taking forever to get here. I guess I won't be watching a new episode tonight. Oh well, I do have work to do.

Today was slightly frustrating since I still can't get my wireless or VOIP to work. I'm trying to find someone with Mac experience to come to my apartment and hook me up. I'm hoping to get this done by the weekend because I am just going slightly insane without my internet access.

This morning, I reworked my short story and sent it back over to the Professor to review. He wants to workshop in class over the next four weeks and I'm hoping the piece is in better shape than last time. I also started my second story and am pretty excited about this one too. I had to call Rabbi Avi in Jerusalem though to ask him some questions for the piece, fortunately he is going to do some research and get back to me. We made another tentative evening plans for our Kotel excursion, this time for Thursday night after work. I'm hoping to get there this week!

Itai called this morning to tell me that my roach problem isn't just my own as he had his own visitor over the Chag. So, we are having the exterminators come to our apartment on Wednesday. Guess what time. 6:45 am! Now, for Itai, that's no big deal but for me, that's really early. I decided to forgo doing laundry tonight and will save it for Wednesday morning. Apparently, I have to vacate the premises for 4 hours after they spray and figure between doing laundry and hitting the gym, I should be plenty occuppied during the morning. I'll do anything to keep these bugs out of my kitchen, even if that means missing out on some much needed sleep.

And that's pretty much it. Tonight I'm going to chill a bit, probably end up seeing Itai so I can pay my half of the exterminator, and then get ready for class tomorrow.

Hope everyone had a Happy New Year!

Song of the Day (minus live link) is On the Other Side by The Strokes. I love this song and have it on almost every single one of my mixes. Crank it up!

Tashlich in the Fish Pond

It's 1:30 am on Monday morning and I just got out of the longest, hotest shower I've had in a while. I had a wonderful Rosh Hashana in Beit Shemesh. It was exactly what I had anticipated and everything went really smoothly. As one can imagine, after spending almost 3 days with 5 children under the age of 9, I am really looking forward to spending tomorrow (well, today really) just chilling. Since I don't have school today - we postponed the day because of the fast so I have classes instead tomorrow - I plan on spending my time relaxing, writing, figuring out what is going on with my internet and VOIP and doing laundry.

But, I want to take a minute to recap how Rosh Hashana went. So, as you know from my previous post, I took the train to Beit Shemesh on Thursday night and went to sleep sharing a room with the baby (she just turned 2). At about 4:00 am, she woke up crying hysterically for her Abba. I started to soothe her when she took one look at me and started calling me "Mommy" and crawled into bed with me. I think she would have fallen back asleep in a few minutes but fortunately, her Mom came in to the rescue and whisked her out of the room so I could get back to sleep. It was a nice way to start the weekend, mistaken for Mommy. The next thing I know it's 7:30 and the maid is poking her head into the room looking ready to make the bed with me in it. I took that as the cue to get up and so the day began. We did some errands and then little by little the rest of the company arrived. There was a 28 year old guy from my old stomping grounds who comes every year to daven at Reishit Yerushalayim, and two seminary girls (one from Brooklyn who is a relative of the hosts and she brought a new found friend).

For Friday night dinner, there were 11 of us. It was a lot of fun. Sleeping arrangements were very interesting given the group and I shared a room with two of the girls, 7 and 3. Sadly, one of them snored very loudly but fortunately for me, I was so exhausted both days that I was able to sleep right through it.

Shabbat day shul was really nice, the men daven at a Haskama (early) minyan so that the women can go to the regular minyan. We made it in shul both days in time for Maftir, and we both davened Shacharit at home. The seminary girls were sent to shul early each day to save us seats and it worked out that it wasn't too crowded in our section both days.

The most exciting thing about Rosh Hashana was Saturday night when we went to Noam's brother for dinner. There were 18 of us at the meal, which is pretty typical for me given the meals I've been to on the Upper West Side. Anyway, they do an entire new fruit/new year "seder" and we made blessings over: apples, leeks, carrots, pumpkin, pomegranates, something called Israel fruit, sabras, dates, jelly fish and beets. I am shocked that my stomach withstood all of those different foods! The kids were REALLY into though, and I think it's a great way to get kids excited and interested in the holidays.

This afternoon, the entire community was invited to one neighbors house because she has a fish pond. We were all invited to go there to say Tashlich, except we weren't allowed to throw bread. The kids again had a great time and the folks in the community got to hang out and smooze for a bit. I went to say Tashlich and admired the fish, although I missed not throwing away my sins. I might go to the beach at some point over Aseret Yemei Teshuvah and say it again but this time throw in pieces of bread. The symbolism for me is pretty important.

Anyway, I got back to my apartment this evening no problem. Tova sent me with some leftover turkey and salad, so at least I have 1-2 meals set for the week and she drove me to the train. I got on the 9:35 train and was home by 10:30. It was really easy and I will definitely made the trip again, although next time I hope not to have to bring so much stuff with me. When I got home, though, I was not happy to see the second cockaroach in a week. At this point, I think the apartment might have a problem because I really have no food out to be attracting the bugs. I'm not going to wait for a third bug to say something so I already e-mail Itai and asked him to get an exterminator here ASAP. We'll see what he has to say tomorrow.

The seminary girls who I just spent the past two days with were very, very interesting. It reminded me of a lot of things I experienced when I was in seminary nearly 12 years ago. Primarily, it made me VERY thankful that I was no longer a seminary girl., More about this later, including the stories that the school told them in order to make sure that they would stay away from "bad" neighborhoods (i.e. Ben Yehuda Street). When I told them I lived in Tel Aviv, I thought they were going to literally start saying tehilim for my soul. To a seminary girl, living in Tel Aviv is akin to living in a whorehouse.

Anyway, I bought a wireless router erev Yom Tov and I need to deal with my ISP in order to hook it up properly. My GOAL is to get my phone working by the weekend because my baby sister's birthday is in a few days and I plan on calling her to wish her a happy birthday ( and will NOT do it from my cell phone).

I hope everyone is having a Shana Tova U'Mitukah! Have an easy fast!!

Train

I know I keep writing about how tired I am, but you lug an 80 pound bag ALL over Tel Aviv and then tell me how alert you would be. I am blogging from my sister's friends house in Beit Shemesh, where I am going to be for the Chag, and I'm just so happy to be here! Tova and Noam and really hospitable, made me feel right at home the second I walked in, and their 5 children are a LOT of fun. I was really missing the kids so being surrounded by these children are a good surrogate for my own family.

Anyway, today I took the train for the first time! I got a ride from school to the station in the Azrieli Center and I've never seen so many Chayalim in my life! I can only imagine what it will look like tomorrow when everyone is traveling for Rosh Hashana. I ended up grabbing the 5:36 train and while it wasn't Amtrak's Acela service, it was really nice! The ride was about an hour and we lost power in the middle. Again, nothing that bothered me because I'm used to that happening quite frequently when I take the Acela down to visit my sisters. And then I waited a long time for a cab because Beit Shemesh was insane!! The mall's parking lot did not move. Cars were stacked up and the line to get in and out was outlandish. Do people NOT know about planning ahead? I guess everyone wanted to make sure that they got new clothing and food in time for the Chag.

I got here and had fun just playing with the kids and catching up with Tova. It was especially nice since I did not have a good meeting with my Professor this morning. He basically ripped my new piece to shreds and his feedback was a lot more critical than constructive. When I asked him to cut me some slat because of my living situation, he basically told me to just figure it out and "write faster". I'm a perfectionist though and refuse to hand him crap as a first draft. Not really sure where that leaves me but I'm hoping to spend the entire Monday editing this piece into better shape and writing my second one. I want to make some significant headway so I can go to Jerusalem on Tuesday night. I'd like to get to the Kotel before Yom Kippur, if possible.

Anyway, I am going to sign off now and probably won't be back online until after Rosh Hashana. In the meantime, here is my wish to all of you for the coming New Year:

May it be a year full of good health, financial stability and success, happiness and only simchot! May everything you pray for, individually, come true. And may the three Chayalim who were kidnapped be returned safe and sound to their families.

Shanah Tovah U'Mitukah! Ketivah V'Chatimah Tovah.

Song to head into the New Year with is The New Year by Death Cab for Cutie.

The Office

Office
Originally uploaded by holylandhipster.

No can say that I'm not resourceful. This is my office. Basically, it's in the alcove behind the door which is good and bad. Good, because I really can't get distracted by much, so I can be focused. Bad, because it's really depressing to be in the corner like this. I will definitely need some artwork to brighten things up.

Nevertheless, I'm glad I kept these boxes and with the new chairs I bought, I'm all set. Between my neighbors wireless connection and my wireless connection, I can at least e-mail, IM and work on my pieces.

Today, my Professor told me that my first short story was "an ambition start". I have no clue what that means but I spent three hours this afternoon editing.

Tonight, I'm going to the supermarket as I mentioned earlier and then meeting Gayle and co. for coffee at 9:30. Gayle is heading out of town for about a month, which is pretty sad. It will be great when she gets back to town after the Chagim.

Song of the day is The Small Print by Muse.

Good tune

The Kitchen

New fridge
Originally uploaded by holylandhipster.

I have never seen men bring a huge fridge up the stairs before, so it was a fascinating afternoon for me! The basically wrap their bodies in these ropes that are tied to the bottom of the fridge and lift up with their entire bodies. It was really interesting. I felt bad that I didn't have anything cold to offer them but for anyone else who comes over, now I do! The fridge is up and running and is in great condition and fortunately, fits the space perfectly. All I need now are two burners and my kitchen is complete. After I finish blogging, I'm going out to buy just the bare essentials I need for tonight and tomorrow. I'm away for Rosh Hashana and then Monday is a fast day, so I don't need to do a big shopping until then.

Hot TV

TV
Originally uploaded by holylandhipster.

And I don't mean stolen. So, this is the TV after I had cable put in. What a production it was! The guy came early and he had problems right away with the cables. Good thing I have Palmolive on hand because he coated the cables and it slid through no problem. After a few hours, I was all set up with my TV and the internet. Of course, I never selected my "packages" but Itai mentioned he would call Hot for me to help out so I'm going to take him up on that offer tonight. I want to make sure I have all the programming I need!

The internet and VOIP is, of course, a problem. Nothing is easy in Israel folks. Basically, I NOW need either one of two things to get my VOIP to work here.

1) A different ISP address that is provided from Smile which they would have to get via Hot

2) A new wireless router that is configured appropriately

I am looking into both options but come hell or high water, I will have my phone working next week. Seriously, I am sooo close and just 1 step away.

Anyone who has Skype though can call me. Paul (as in Shulamit and Paul) helped me download it last night and we were chatting away for free all morning. I'm going to have to get my folks and siblings to download it for sure!

The Bed

The Bed
Originally uploaded by holylandhipster.

Here's a picture of my bed and end table. Last night, Itai came in and I asked him if he tought the bed was worth the money. He said he thought it was and then took me across the hall to see his bed. Yeah, comparitibly speaking mine is definitely a lot nicer although his is a little bigger. Regardless, I slept well last night, so I can't complan.

Papa Roach

Papa Roach
Originally uploaded by holylandhipster.

Is what I named the first big ass roach/water bug I killed in my apartment. Interesting story really. Here I was, sitting on my new chair and typing an e-mail to Mom using empty boxes as a table when out of the corner of my eye I saw a movement. Thinking I was not going crazy, I turned nonetheless to make sure nothing really moved. Lo and behold, there was Papa Roach, making a mad dash across my salon floor and into the darkness of my bedroom.

Now folks, I am not afraid of bugs. I have killed many of them over the years. I wasn't the girl who liked to pull off the legs of bugs for fun, but I also wasn't the girl who would run away and squeel anytime an insect crossed my path. That being said, this was one Papa of a roach. It was a big ass MF and I was NOT pleased that it was the other living being in this apartment. So, I decided to do what anyone would have done. I decided I still want to live in this apartment alone and so I stepped on it.

Wonder what it sounds like when you step on a roach?

You'd expect me to say that it sounded like a big crunch, right?

Wrong

It sounded like I just took a flying leap into a big puddle.

Sploosh, went Papa Roach.

And then, for posterity, I took a photo before giving him a proper burial in shrouds of toilet paper and laying him to rest in my garbage can.

A perfect ending to an interesting day.

Last night, I slept over by Tamara's in R'anana and by the time it turned 10:30, I was fast asleep. First good night sleep I've had since August 16th and it was wonderful. God bless American mattresses.

This morning, I woke up early, showered, and went to breakfast with Tamara at a local cafe. Then, we hit the home center, where I picked up the essential for my apartment. These also included cleaning supplies, which I used to sweep and clean my floors when I got home.

The bed was also delivered today and well, I don't really want to get started with how upset I am about the whole situation, but I will nonetheless write about it in a future e-mail. There is a girl in my class who writes for the Jerusalem Post, so I am going to ask her to hook me up with her editor so I can write an article about what it's like to be a single woman trying to make her way through this country.

I warn you all now, this article will not be positive but if I end up helping another single woman looking to move here then it will all be worth it.

Thursday I have a meeting with my Professor who wants to discuss my goals over the remaining 3 weeks with the program. Not really sure what will happen with it but I'm interested to hear what he has to say about my writing. I completed my first short story for the program and am looking forward to starting on my second one. I have the idea all sussed out, it's now just a matter of time to put it into words.

Tomorrow I have my refrigerator and the cable man coming. I really, really hope all goes smoothly and that my VOIP will be up and running by the end of the night. I also have a writing assignment I need to finish by Thursday. It's all dialogue writing, which is pretty difficult for me to do. I'm a lot better with descriptive pieces than with straight dialogue. Either way, I'll muddle through.

So, Itai just stopped by and I showed him the photo of the roach. He wasn't pleased to see that I had one and so we're going to get the exterminator to the apartment soon.

That's it for me, it's 9:00 and I'm dog tired. Running out to pick up some dinner and then maybe heading over to Gayle's to hang out before she leaves.

Song of the night is Last Resort off of the Infestation album by Papa Roach! Cause again, I've got a great sense of humor!

Exhaustion

I am so tired, I can barely keep my eyes open to write this and it's only 8:15! I'm at Tamara's tonight, which means I'm in R'anana, and tomorrow is going to be a really busy day. We have a morning full of grooming, won't go into the gorey details but it's all in anticipation of Rosh Hashana this weekend, and then we're going to hit the stores and try to buy some things that I need for the apartment. I had planned to spend the entire day here tomorrow but that was before I got a phone call from the bed place. They said that the bed will be delivered tomorrow between 5-8 p.m., so now I have to leave here by 3:30 to get home in time for the bed to come. Unfortunately, tomorrow is not negotiable as the factory only makes deliveries to Tel Aviv one day a week. I'm not really sure how much I buy that, but this is Israel and I'm at their mercy.

I didn't sleep well last night and that was partly my fault, I shouldn't have gone to the gym at 10:00 p.m. I wanted to make sure that I did some more lifting and since I cancelled on Yehuda this week (all day deliveries on Wednesday) I had to push myself to work out. Of course, that completely overstimulated me, and so I laid awake until way past 3:00 a.m. I'm really looking forward to Wednesday when I'll at least have TV to keep me company during my occassional bouts of insomnia.

Today was a busy day to and I submitted the draft of one of my short stories to my Professor to read. I haven't heard back from him yet with comments, but am hoping to start my new short story this evening. I have to do some editing of Tamara's piece, but once that's done I can concentrate on my own writing. I'm not sure how effective I will be as I can barely keep my eyes open, but I will definitely try!

My ride to Beit Shemesh Erev Rosh Hashana just fell through, so now I have to figure out what I'm going to be doing and how I'm going to get there on Friday. Chances are I will take the train but will touch base with Tova and Noam first to find out the best way to get there. Ideally, I'd like to leave earlier rather than later because I'm sure public transportation will be a nightmare with the Chag.

That's it, I can't write anymore since I have to go edit. Will write more when I get back into my apartment tomorrow.

Good night!

Setting Up House

While I wait for Marns to log back onto IM so we can catch up, I'm going to complain for a second. Today, I thought about the Sex and the City episode where Carrie Bradshaw registers for a pair of Prada shoes and spends the episode bemoaning the fact that since she's never gotten married she never had a shower, so she has to pay to furnish her apartment, etc. I felt like Carrie Bradshaw today when I ran all over Tel Aviv to start furnishing my apartment. This will be the FOURTH time I am basically building a home. I had to furnish my part of the the apartment I lived in when I was at the Westmont, then I had to put a few things in when I moved in with Zaydie on the Lower East Side, and again when I moved to my awesome apartment on 74th and Columbus and now here we go again. I know I always said I hate showers, and to be honest I still do, but you really NEED the gifts cause setting up house is really expensive!

OK, I'm done complaining now.

Today was my errand day. I spent three hours at the banks this morning and I can finally say that I am all paid up for the first three months rent on the apartment. That is a huge weight off of my shoulders, so I'm happy that's done. Then I walked back up to Halper's to pick up a book of short stories for Tamara. On my way back to my apartment, I stopped into the store where I ordered the microwave/convection oven and decided to save a few hundred shekel and take it home in a cab. It was worth it, much cheaper to spend 20 shekel on the cab ride than 250 shekel on delivery fee. It was heavy and I struggled with it, but I managed to make it into my apartment no problem. Next, it was time to eat something so I actually did something I've NEVER done before. I went to a restaurant and ate outside by myself. Now, I'm a very independent person but I've never actually gone to a restaurant and eaten alone. Without any chairs in my apartment, and no fridge, I had no choice. It's hard enough to sit on the floor and work, I wasn't going to do that with eating either. I was really proud of myself for being a grown up and eating alone so I practically skipped down to Dizengoff where I went to buy my fridge and TV.

Here's a picture of my new fridge.



It's stainless steel and from Whirlpool, and they gave me a good deal because I bought the fridge and TV together. I just hope that my measurements are accurate. I used inches because I didn't have a meter tape measure. We'll see on Wednesdsay when they come to deliver everything together.

So, Wednesday is a big day. My bed and fridge are being delivered and then the Hot cable guys are coming (Hot is the name of the company, not an adjective to describe the guy who comes although who knows, he could be a Chatich). I'm praying that by Wednesday night in Israel, my VOIP will be all set up and I can call the States. That will make me the happiest person in the world! This cell phone/calling cards experience is really not fun and mucho expensive.

I took a cab back from the store with my TV and got into a really sad conversation with the cab driver. He told me it would cost 35 shekels because I put the TV in the trunk. He claimed it was a moving fee and that it was standard.With a meter, it would have cost me 15 shekels to get home. He claimed it was a moving fee and that it was standard. BS. I told him that it was a bracha I didn't make Aliyah because Israelis can be pretty awful people looking to screw you anyway they can. He was offended and then asked if I came to that conclusion just because of the cab ride. I told him it was a culmination of situations but that I've learnt a lot since I got here. I can honestly say that I had this idealistic version in my head about Israel and it really is a fantasy. I still am a Zionist and love the country, but I can do without some of Her people. He said it's really hard to live in Israel. I said it didn't have to be so hard and that Israelis shouldn't wonder why people don't like them. He was silent, as if contemplating this for the first time. Then he said that the people of Israel are bad people, himself included. I told him before I came to this Country I was never ashamed of being Jewish and Israeli. I told him in America I was so proud of being Jewish and Israeli, and how I came to love my Israeli name and was honored by my heritage. Since I've been in Israel, however, I've been ashamed. There are so many people here I never want to be associated with, and the fact that we are all Jews is even worse. Jews screwing Jews. How terrible. And with Rosh Hashana less than a week away, you would think people would want to be different with the New Year coming. Nope. Doesn't matter to them at all.


And when we got to my apartment, he still charged me 35 shekels, even after the whole conversation. I wasn't expecting any less from him.

So that's really it for me. Nothing too exciting to write about today, just pretty mundane and boring activities. I have to pick up my cleaning, buy some supplies for my bathroom (like a toilet bowl brush because the workers in this apartment stained my toilet and it's gross) and hit the gym tonight for some lifting. It's so nice that the gym is now only 10 minutes away as opposed to 35 minutes away.

Miss you all!

Song of the day is I Will Survive by Cake, because it's a great remake of the original song!

Dirty Feet

My feet are so black right now, it's disgusting. I have to take a shower and scrub away the filth that has somehow managed to cleave to the bottom of my souls. If you thought walking around Manhattan in flip flops was bad, try Tel Aviv. It's worse!

So much to write about and I'm extremely sore. I woke up this morning feeling like I was coming down with Jeff's cold and really sore! I felt like I had worked out really hard at the gym yesterday and to be honest, with the move, I didn't get there. I don't know why I'm hurting so much since Jeff did all the heavy lifting, but I guess running up and down steps and unpacking could be the culprit.

This Shabbos, I did a lot of things I've never done before. As mentioned on Erev Shabbat, I was invited to Oren's for Friday night dinner. There were 10 people at the meal, and I was the only native English speaker. It was GREAT! I had no choice but to use my Hebew and I think I fared pretty well. Aside from Oren, there was only one other guy from shul and the rest were girls from the neighborhood. Plus, Oren's two sisters from Kedumim were over for the weekend. Yifat who is 16 (recently turned) and Alumah is 20 and starting Bar Ilan after the Chagim. Yifat speaks very little Hebrew so I was forced to really work at it when having a conversation with her. Anyway, the taco salad didn't go over as well with this group, although Oren was still really happy. Yifat kept asking why there were corn flakes (as in the cereal) in her salad. She didn't touch it with a 10 foot pole, good thing there was an Israeli salad for her. Jeff and a couple of other guys showed up for dessert and by the time it was Midnight, I was falling off of my face with exhaustion. Jeff walked me part of the way home and I still don't know how I got the rest of the way home but I managed to get up the steps and fumble in the dark with my keys to let myself in.

First night in the apartment was pretty good. I was so tired that I fell asleep right away and woke up on Shabbat morning at 9:30.

So, guess what that means (Dad, this will make you so happy!). Yup, I actually made it to shul. Now, I didn't make it for a lot of the davening but I was there for the end and for the massive kiddish that was sponsored by 5 guys. I've never seen such a huge vat of cholent before in my life. And, if you know me at all, you know that I didn't do anything but drink some water and try my hand at socializing. I spoke with a lot of the girls I had met the night before at Oren's, and then met a number of new guys, most of whom were married.

And then I invited myself over to Oren's for lunch. He hadn't planned on having lunch at his apartment, but I had nothing else to do and no refridgerator and just a can of green beans sitting for me on the counter which was just so lonely and depressing so I figured, why not? I knew he had leftovers from Friday night because I helped with the clean up (and even washed some dishes today and last night). Well, I must have started a trend because by the time we got to Oren's, almost everyone who had been there on Friday night also showed up for Shabbos lunch. We had a really impromptu Shabbos buffet and I did even MORE talking in Hebrew. It was great! I decided that Oren's family is my new adopted family here in Israel and am looking forward to going to Kedumim for a shabbos at some point this year. More new people dropped by Oren's in the afternoon and I met a couple of his friends who were nice. By 5:00 pm, I decided I had worn out my welcome and headed back home. But, without anywhere to sit, I decided to grab my book and a bottle of water and hit the beach. I didn't make it to the beach and ended up sitting on a bench in front of Ben Gurion's house. It was nice and relaxing until the mosquitos started biting and that was it for me. I got back to the apartment and Itai scared the heck out of me when he opened the door shirtless and told me that a neighbor had started complaining about some noises from my apartment. Now, that was news to me especially since I haven't been in the apartment for more than a few hours and majority of that time was spent sleeping. So, I let him in and he checked a few things out with the AC, and then I was left with only 30 minutes before Havdalah. I read some more of my book while sitting on the floor until Shabbos was over.

Tonight was my typical Sat. night activity, laundry. It was long but uneventful. Didn't really speak to anyone else in the laundromat except for the people who called on my cell phone. So now, I'm going to hit the showers and wash away the disgusting sweat that has been clinging to me since this morning and get dressed. Gayle wants to meet up at a cafe for a study break in a few and I could use some food, am starving!

Tomorrow should be really busy with errands but I'm hoping to get some work done. I need to finish one of my short stories before the end of the week.

Song of the night is My Doorbell by The White Stripes, because I met a guy in shul would plays drums in a band and he says they sound like the Israeli version of the band. Hmmm, we'll see!

Apartment Pics!

Here are photos of my bedroom:



This is the huge wardrobe that they put in for me, which is amazing! There's plenty of room for all of my shoes :)



The mattress on the floor that cost me an extra 200 shekel to get on Friday. The bed itself should be arriving on Wednesday.



This is my kitchen! It's great that it's new so I don't have to Kasher anything. All I need to do now is put in a fridge and have my microwave/convection oven delivered and I'm in business!



So, this is the area in my hallway that will probably be my office. Not really sure yet if I definitely will put my office there but I will definitely do something in this space.



The bathroom is gorgeous! There is a tub/shower, a toilet (obviously) and a sink with a mirror and plenty of drawer space. There is also an area for a washer/dryer, but I'm not sure I'm going to go that route anytime soon.

The is part of my "salon" and I think this is where I'm going to put my living area. Two couches, the TV and a bookshelf should fit nicely. I LOVE that I have this huge wall of windows that looks out onto the quiet street in front of me.



More of the wall of windows that runs down towards the kitchen area.



Not sure what I'm going to do about setting up a table though. Any suggestions?

O Happy Day!

Sound the Shofar folks, I've finally come home! As of 12:00 p.m. this afternoon, I am officially a resident at an apartment in Tel Aviv! I am so happy right now, I don't know what to do with myself. And yes, it's probably not the best thing as a new neighbor to be stealing someone's wireless, but I am planning on putting in cable of my very own on Sunday so this is really just temporary.

I don't know who was happier with the apartment, me or Itai and Lea. Honestly, I think they were a lot happier about the whole situation. I was just super relieved. Contract negotiations this morning went very well. Basically, all of the changes that Lee wanted, they did for us. A lot of it was just the wording that astute Lee picked up on, and so the changes were made and we all signed on the dotted line. I almost started crying when Itai handed me the keys but I kept it together and walked back to the apartment on Hayarkon to get ready for the move. As I walked down Ben Yehuda, I stopped into an office supplies store so I can put my Mezuzah up before Shabbat.

Wow, I can't believe I am going to be putting up a Mezuzah is my own apartment!!! I will be taking photos after Shabbat and will post so you can all see where I've moved in, but it's so much better than the other place would have been!

Jeff is, once again, amazing. He single handedly moved me! He brought BOTH of my huge duffle bags downstairs and then loaded up his car, drove me and my stuff uptown, and then moved my stuff into my apartment. I could have kissed him, I was so appreciative! Hmmm, anyone who wants to weigh in on what kind of gift I can get him to show how much I appreciate him, please let me know.

I already started unpacking and all my toiletries are in my new bathroom. Of course, something already broke, so I need to let Itai know. It wasn't a big deal but when I went to hang my towels on the towel rack, it came off in my hands. I don't think that the glue was good, it literally just fell off.

Then Oren called and came to pick me up so I could clear out the fridge and give him the stuff for dinner tonight. I also picked up a bottle of wine for the meal, and will have to make the taco salad when I get to his apartment. Hmm, I have no clue what to wear tonight either but I still have a few more hours left until I have to get ready for shabbat. My landlord was washing the steps so I gave him back the keys and thanked him for everything he's done for me so far! He was really happy to see that this has worked out for me, so that was good. I told him I would stay in touch, he was a really, really nice guy.

I AM SOO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!!!!

Really, really happy! Whistling in happieness and bursting with joy.

Although, I did get totally cheated by the mattress guy. I am honestly going to take Oren up on his offer to come with me when I go shopping for appliances and furniture because I was totally ripped off. My whole bed, including the delivery, is costing me a fortune! It better be so amazing this bed. The mattress came and I have to give them 200 shekel, and when I wished them a Shabbat Shalom and they didn't answer, I realized that the delivery guys were not Yids. How does one say Good Shabbos in Arabic? I need to learn that for sure.

OK, I off to finish unpacking and then have to run to the supermarket to get some more water before Shabbat.

I can't believe it finally happened for me. No more club music when I try to get to sleep, no more post-op transexuals walking the streets, no more porn films being shot across the street from my apartment, no more STRIPCLUBS at the corner!

I feel like George Jefferson! I've moved up to a deluxe apartment!

Shabbat Shalom!

Blood Sucking Attorneys

For a few minutes this afternoon, I toyed with the idea of calling in a favor from Robert Shapiro. Yes, that Robert Shapiro. The man who played a pretty big part in the OJ Simpson defense team. I know Mr. Shapiro because I took him to The Today Show one morning a few years ago as he had a live interview with Matt Lauer regarding work he was doing with one of the firm's clients. Since I had to wake up at 5:00 a.m. to be there, and basically make sure he was all prepared for the interview (the man is a media pro, no coaching was really necessary from me) and keep him company before and after the appearance, I spent a good hour chatting with him. He gave me his cell phone number and told me to call him if I ever needed anything.

But, the reasons I didn't use that number today were as follows:
1) What is he going to do for me here in Israel? Chances are, the man has no clue about Israeli law
2) I left his cell phone number in my rolodex at my parent's house
3) Because the dude might one day want to meet him, and I don't want to blow that favor right now

I will say this, if I had Robert Shapiro on my team, I don't think the apartment situation would be as difficult.

Here's the update on my living situation:
I am going to contract tomorrow with Itai and his Aunt, Lea, who would be my landlord. Lee is coming in from R'anana to sign as my guarantor. But, he has some problems with the contract. After he explained the problems to me, I agreed with 85% of his issues. I spoke to Dad about the same issues, so we're all on the same page with the problems.

And, I just really don't know what to do. I'm in a unique situation here because I have no family in Israel, I am not employed in Israel and, as a student, don't have income coming into this country that the landlords know about, my Hebrew is so bad that it's laughable. Seriously, what did I do all year in Ulpan? I couldn't really get through the contract, and had three different people read and explain it to me (including Itai). There are a couple of things in the contract that I don't think are particularly fair to me, but other things that aren't fair but I would be willing to look the other way because I know that they really are taking a chance on me. Again, no family, no job, is a big negative when trying to rent an apartment to me. This is a handicap that I wasn't expecting here.

That being said, I'm taking a lot of faith just like they are, and I hope this is going to be a shidduch made in heaven. I can go for a full year without putting anything on the walls, my refridgerator of course will be LITTERED with great pics of the family and friends, and no having a pet in the apartment is no big deal either. Although, I recently offered to watch Tokyo when Ari goes on vacation, so now we're going to have to work something else out. What was funny was that the contract mentions I can't even have a goldfish in the apartment if I wanted one. Could you imagine what would have happened if I brought Angus to Israel with me? I wouldn't get this apartment, that's for sure!

So folks reading this tonight, say a little prayer that tomorrow morning will all work out. That I'll be able to move into the apartment before Shabbat and finally try to get settled.

Now, IF everything falls through, I have a backup plan. But, I also want to write about the great people who have been helping me with everything who deserve mentions in this blog because I would be completely lost without them:

Gayle (a great girl I met here in Tel Aviv) is going away for a few weeks and I could rent her apartment in the interim. Since I'm going to be in Jerusalem for almost a week, and then a few days in Ein-Gedi, and then back in Jerusalem before school starts, I really just need a place to crash for 2 weeks out of next month. Gayle said I could move in on Thursday of next week, so I would just need to spend another week here. NOT ideal, but doable if necessary.

Also, I got a call from Oren tonight, another great guy I met here in Tel Aviv. He called to invite me for Shabbat dinner, which was really awesome of him as I won't have a fridge when I move into the apartment and will be pretty hungry I suspect come dinnertime. The only thing he asked for was for me to make a taco salad (it's nice to know my taco salad is an international hit). Fortunately, I still had all the ingredients for the dressing, which I've already made and have chilling in the fridge. Oren is going to pick up most of the ingredience for me tomorrow and then I'll make the salad when I get to his apartment tomorrow night. He ALSO offered to help me move tomorrow, which is going to be such a tremendous help. It was really nice of him to offer, and I really appreciated that he call to do all that.

Jeff, as you all know, has been great since the third day I've been in Israel. He called again tonight and helped explain parts of the contract. It was terrific!

My friends at school have also been really great too. Lisa, a Brit who lives with her husband and children in Netanya, offered to host me for Shabbat and any of the Chagim if I need a place to go. That was really sweet of her, she said she understood my pain. But Tamara has been my rock. Not only am I going over to her house in R'anana on Monday night so I can change the scenery and concentrate on my writing and also just recharge and destress, but she is going to take me furniture shopping and is lending me a drafting table and folding chairs so I have a place to work until I get furniture. PLUS, she is taking me home after class on Monday and then driving me and the stuff back into Tel Aviv on Tuesday night, after which we will go to hear Etgar Keret (great Israeli writer) speak at a bookstore on Dizengoff. All I have to remember to do for her is pick up a book at Halper's. I plan on taking care of that on Sunday, regardless of where I'm at.

It's getting late and I still want to shower and finish packing, but have a couple more quick things to write.

Shulamit - I am sorry we keep playing phone tag. I am down to my last few minutes on my cell phone and need them for tomorrow. As soon as that's all done, I'll give you a call! Thanks for the persistence!

Today I watched the security men from Brink, you know those trucks that deposit and deliver money to banks, deliver cash and shekel to the Bank Leumi across from my bus stop. They actually deliver the money with their guns drawn. I know this because when they hopped out of the brink truck in front of me, I watched as they clutched the sacks of money in one hand and held out their guns with their other hands. For a minute, I actually thought it was going to be an armed robbery and then it registered that they were delivering the cash and not trying to break out with it. It was soo interesting watching it all unfold, I would have asked them about it had they holstered their weapons. Truth be told, that was scarier for me to watch then all the Chayalim who walk around with Uzi's all day.

Ari Samuel has twin brother living in Israel, and they ride my #64 bus every afternoon. They are part of this Chayalim unit that is always on the bus when I get on at Bar Ilan. The twins sit next to each other, although one outranks the other. One has an orange beret and the other a green one. They basically sleep or stare off until we get to their stop near the train station. Who knew that they're could be not one, but TWO, other Ari Samuels running around. I'm going to take a photo and send it around soon, so y'all can see what I'm talking about.

OK - I think that's everything. If this apartment works out, I won't be able to blog again until I get to R'anana on Monday night. So, if you don't see any updates, you know that the apartment all worked out.

Song of the evening is Mad World by Tears for Fears, because it's a great song and the theme from Donnie Darko.

Shabbat Shalom!

The Silver Lining

They say that every cloud has a silver lining. I'm hoping that what I just experienced was my first peak of my own personal silver lining. I decided to stop sitting and waiting for the new landlord to call and I called him. Just as good ol' Mom predicted, he has been so busy with his day job (i.e. Israeli lawyer) that he hadn't had time to put the contract together. He is going to send it over to me later tonight. And, as far as he's concerned, they have stopped showing the apartment to other potential renters and we're going to have a sit down on Friday morning. Both of the wonderful Levenson's are coming to Tel Aviv to make this whole thing happen.

Could it really be that I might be in an apartment by Shabbat? I really think I will cry out of sheer relief when this thing is finally over and behind me. But for now, I'm just being "cautiously optomistic". Ah, my favorite term.

Also, a couple of people have e-mailed me about school. So, here is a basic rundown.

I'm really enjoying school. I've been reading such great material, and have had some incredibly poignant critcism from my professor. The fact that he's told me to "keep up the good writing" is encouraging. I look forward to Mondays and Thursdays all week long, and have been really excited about the time I spend in class. Once the AC problem is fixed, I think it will be even better. And, as soon as my apartment situation is settled and I can finally start on a routine, I think I will be very happy here.

I see the happiness and right now we're brushing fingertips. It won't be long now until I'm finally hand in hand with contentment.

On Monday, he asked us to write the opening sentence of the novel we want to one day publish. We have been spending a lot of time on openings and endings, as Professor Hadari feels that a good opening should be pure poetry.

So, here is the opening sentence of the novel I will be (hopefully) writing as my thesis for the Masters program. I hope you all like it, and if not, would love to hear the critcisms.

That year, the bees didn't come as the twelve spinsters of 96th street, who met annually for Shabbos lunch at Sarah Adelman's apartment, clomped in their finest footwear down the 24 city bocks and three avenues to Riverside Drive and 72nd Street.

Good night!

The Tel Aviv Apartment Hunting Diet

So much to write about, I don't know where to begin. I think I'll start by explaining the photo. Yesterday, I took the #90 bus and went to visit my friends Susie, Elliot and their daughter Rina (from London) at a hotel on the beach in Herzliya. To say that the couple of hours I spent there was great would be an understatement. For a few hours, I was on vacation and I didn't worry about anything. I played with their daughter, Susie and I caught up, Elliot and I bonded and I got to daven Mincha with the gorgeous sunset as my background (granted, it was behind me while praying, but it was beautiful nonetheless). I got to watch the surfers hit the waves at dusk when the swells were peaking and, for a few minutes, I wished I could get on a surfboard and let it carry me all the way back home.

Before yesterday, I never really considered the US "home". I always thought Israel was "home" and the US was my "awesome interim home". How almost a month living in Israel has changed me.

After speaking with both rents yesterday, we decided it was in my best interest not to move into the apartment. The bottom line, it was just way too expensive. I can't afford it, especially since I haven't worked for any clients since July, and I'm started to feel the empty linings of my pocketbook. I got on Homeless yesterday afternoon and started making calls to some interesting apartments. One guy responded to my call and we made plans to look at his apartment. I went directly there from Herzeliya and was pretty impressed with what he had to offer. The positives include: cheaper rent, he would be living nextdoor so we would split the Arnona and Vad Bayit (which is pretty steep), a front door that LOCKS, an elevator, brand new apartment so the kitchen is kosher, a huge wardrobe in the bedroom, ability to put in cable. The negatives: no refrigerator, no stove top, no washer/dryer.

I told them I wanted to take the apartment. We're currently in negotiations and, if it's meant to be, then it will all work out and hopefully I will be able to move in by Friday.

This is Israel, so I'm not holding my breath and will continue looking for apartments tonight.

But, in the meantime, there was so much I had to do that has made the whole experience really bad. First of all, when they "warn me" that renting an apartment here is hard, they lied. It's damn near impossible. And when they "warned me" to watch out for people looking to take advantage of stupid Americans, I didn't listened.

Hi, my name is HolylandHipster and in Israel, I am a stupid America.

I've been taken for a ride every which way till Sunday. I've been screwed over by so many people, it's not normal.

And now I've had no choice but to surrender any shred of dignity, any ounce of self-respect, my independence, and start calling in favors. I had to call the Levensons and ask them to be the guarantors on this apartment. I had to ask them to come to Tel Aviv on Friday morning, their day off and Erev Shabbot and of course on a weekend when they are having a LOT Of company, to meet with my landlords and sign the lease. Being as nice as they are, they acquiesced, which I appreciated more than anything. But, the fact that I had to ask them, made me feel absolutely horrible.

I had to call my sister's friends in Beit Shemesh, the family I'm going to for Rosh Hashanah next week, and ask them to help me understand the terms of the contract. They offered to also be my guarantors, and to review the contract. I really appreciated the offer and will certainly take them up on it. When I told them about my neighborhood, they offered to have me stop paying the $70 a night here and let me move into their guest room until after the Chagim. That was really so nice of them to offer, and as tempting as it is for me to run to their house with my tail between my legs in defeat, I have to stay and work things out here.

And guess what. It's already 9:00 p.m. and still no contract in my inbox. There was no phone call yet either. And, I already went to the bank and took out the cash amounts for the first and last months rent on the apartment so I'm pretty confused.

Yeah, somehow, I don't think this apartment is going to happen.

Do you think I should view this as a sign?

This afternoon, I went to the gym for my second workout with Yehuda. I decided I was going to be firm with him and tell him that there was no way I was letting him weigh me before every session. I told him I wasn't going to get on the scale, he insisted, I stood my ground. I tried not being a wimp, or a wimp-o as my Dad would put it. Somehow the "o" always gets attached to the word wimp when he's trying to make a point. I view it as a loving well to tell me to stop being a pushover. I had made up my mind. THIS I could control. He started working away at me. How come I didn't want to get wieghed he asked? I told him because it wasn't accurate. Who the hell weighs themselves during the middle of the day while wearing sneakers and after already eating? It was ridiculous, what kind of number was he looking to get? He agreed it wasn't accurate, but he felt it was important that he keep track of it for progress. Since I have a fitness goal in mind. I told him it was humiliating. I don't get weighed by someone else unless you're my physician. Period. I'm a grown woman with my own scale. I can weight myself. He told me I shouldn't feel humiliated before he's not interested in me in that way.

Ouch.

So now, I've been humiliated and somehow rejected.

I told him that was good to know, I wasn't interested in him either. He said I misunderstood him, it is a very professional relationship.

Yehuda is VERY serious about working out together, which I appreciate, but I was NOT getting on that scale.

He told me that seeing weight loss will be a great motivator. I didn't necessarily agree.

So guess what happened.

Just put a big sign around my neck and call me wimpo.

I got on the scale. And I lost 7 pounds in one week. I didn't believe it at first, but then it made sense. Welcome to the Tel Aviv Apartment Hunting diet. Combine no appetite to eat with aggravation and you too can drop the pounds fast! The 7 pound loss wasn't a motivator, it made me feel sad. I always lose weight when I'm miserable.

So, we worked out hard for an hour. Really pushing it, I sweated completelty thtough my clothing, and then headed home to take care of letting the old landlords know that I'm not moving in. In the interim, I called Yes and cancelled my cable service. But they won't cancel it for me. I'm too exhausted to go into it now, but basically, Jeff is going to call Yes tomorrow and talk to them about the situation. Thank G-d for Jeff, literally. I don't know what I would do here without him.

Here's my advice for the world: NEVER, EVER put in cable, or internet, or a telephone line into an apartment that you do not already live in. NEVER! Because something like what happened to me could happen to you, and then you're screwed. Just like I am right now.

When I told the landlords that I wasn't moving in, I was very simple and direct. I had no money to pay the rent. They were nice about it, but pissed off about a lot of other things too. They're going to make me pay for the Bezeq line, but at least they will let the Yes men come to the apartment and pick up the boxes. Either way, I'm going to have to pay for something. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop though, I know that it can't be this easy. Somehow, the Bezeq is going to end up costing me like $900. Just you wait, it will happen.

I went to the gyms Doctor tonight to have him sign off that I'm healthy. It was a joke, he asked me questions, he took my blood pressure and then he listened to me breathing. The guys is a surgeon here in Tel Aviv and got his training at Hadassah hospital. His specialty: Urology. Nice to know he's qualified.

Since I've done so much exercise today, I figured what's a couple more blocks, and walked home again from the gym. I stopped off at the supermarket to pick up some more water as my supply was running low. When I got to my corner, I looked up at the buildings across the street from my apartment. On one of the balconies was a man filming. Interesting. I wonder what he could be filming from the balcony into a hotel room. Fortunately, my apartment was on level with the action being directly across the street. I got upstairs and looked out the window.

A new experiene in Israel happens every day folks. They were filming a porn flick. Yup, porn movie. And then the Ron Jeremy of the film, who looked more like James Gandolfini, sauntered outside and lit up a cigarette. I don't think any more commentary is necessary.

Tomorrow is school, and I'm looking forward to escaping for a few hours. My writing has been suffering though over the past few days and of course time is ticking away. I only completed one out of the three required elements for the course. I finished my analysis of one the Tevye The Dairyman short stories that "spoke to me". I selected the story of "Shprintze". If you're only familiar with the book because of the Fiddler on the Roof movie, you won't know this story. Shprintze is about one of Tevye's daughters (I know, aren't they ALL about one of his daughters?) who commits suicide at the end of the story. She does it by drowning. She does it because the man she loves won't marry her because of her lack of social status and money.

This story spoke to me. And not because I'm remotely suicidal. It just spoke to me.

Tomorrow I'm going to write about the Russian Israeli I met while waiting for the bus to Herzeliya yesterday. He was sad that they wouldn't give him a visa to visit the US. Tomorrow I'll reveal why.

Song of the night is Sundress by Ben Kweller, cause it's really good.

Channeling The Godfather

Meet one of my lawyers. OK, so he really doesn't represent me here in Israel, but Cousin Neil (as pictured above) is definitely someone I would turn to for legal advice. I mean, he defends the State on behalf of Spitzer, so his legal advice is certainly up to par. And, eventhough my problem is better address to Rantz (the roommate) who practices tenent/landlord law, I always turn first to Neil (and then Josh, Rantz, my sister, and Fred who happens to really be my lawyer). That, and I wanted to let all the ladies know that shockingly Neil is still on the market. E-mail me if you're interested in the stats.

I woke up this morning pretty angry, as I didn't have a good night sleep last night because my landlord(s) have decided to screw around with me. So, I'm channeling The Godfather and taking it to the mattress tomorrow when we meet.

Here's what my landlord(s) now want from me:
1) They want me to sign the landlord/tenent contract from the post office
2) They want me to go to the bank and take out a bond that will cover the Arnon/Water/Electricity/Vad Bayit if I end up breaking the lease and they can't find someone who can take over it
3) They don't want to put in a dryer, as we had initially agreed upon, because they just don't feel it's necessary
4) They STILL haven't picked up the Bezeq box for my Internet and don't seem to think it's a priority
5) The kitchen and bathroom still aren't finished, but they're hoping it will all be done by Wednesday. So, Friday moving in is pretty much the target date
6) They want two, not one month's security deposit


Here are my arguments:
1) One of the reasons why I decided to wait for this apartment, aside from the fact that it was going to be gorgeous since it was all new, is the appeal of an American landlord. That meant doing things like we do in America, which is signing a regular one-year lease with 30-days notice and forfiting ones security deposit. None of this 2 months security deposit, and an extra bank bond crap. I spoke to a number of people here and they have it in their contracts that they don't forfeit a security deposit if given 3 months notice. Either side can give 3 months notice and then the security deposit can be collected at the end of that time period. No one I know has a bond either, they said for the amont of money in my security deposit, that should cover it.

My decision when I'm going into negotiations tomorrow - I will not take out this bond from the bank. I will provide him with the 2 months security deposit, but I want written into the contract three months notice by either party and no forfitting of the security deposit. If given less than three months notice, by the tenent, then the two months security deposit will be forfitted.

2) Put in a freakin dryer - I want a dryer. Period. I don't know if I'll ever use it, but I want the option in the apartment. We had initially discussed, when negotiating, that I wanted the bare bones in the apartment when I moved in. That included washer/dryer (I would NEVER say washer without a dryer, I'm American, why would I ever say washer without dryer. That's not an American request.) bed and kitchen. Now, I took care of the bed myself so that was an extra expense they didn't have to take care of. I didn't submit the bill for my bed, and instead ate the cost even though it was in the initial discussions. Dryers in Israel don't cost a ton of money, and he can certainly shell out the cost for a washer/dryer. Bottom line, I'm not budging on the dryer especially since I ponied up for the bed

3) I want one landlord, 2 is ridiculous - When I initially spoke to my landlord, he mentioned that the Israel landlord wasn't my landlord but just a contractor building the apartment. All of a sudden, I get to Israel and now I have two landlords. That was not in the original discussions. Who is the landlord? Is it a joint deal? Who do I deal with when I have issues. I want this to be explained and let's figure out the bed way to deal with things. I'm busy and shouldn't have to sit here and try to figure out who is who and what is what.

4) No Internet, no money - I will not move into that apartment until that Bezeq box is in. I will not forfeit the internet access I have now, which is crucial to my business, because they haven't gotten around to taking care of it. Every day that box isn't in the apartment is another day they don't get money for the month. I won't sign anything, or write any checks, until that box is in the apartment. This is non-negotiable.

Other points:
1) I was patient and waited the extra week for them to finish the apartment because I'm a nice person but guess what, for the American money I am willin to spend a month, I can find a great apartment. It's hard to find an apartment now in Tel Aviv for people who have less money than I'm willing to spend. Someone else will be more than happy to take my almost $1,000 a month rent and would set down the red carpet and toss rose petals about. There are apartment listings on Homeless so I'll just stay here and start looking for an apartment

2) As much as the apartment itself will be gorgeous, the building is a rundown dump. There isn't even an outside door! Everyone in Israel, at this point in life, has a downstairs security door that buzzes up. The outside isn't well maintained at all. My landlord mentioned that he was in talks with the owners of the building to put in a nicer lobby, but who knows when that will happen. No outside door means lack of security for the building, so that is definitely a downside.

3) Location is nice but could be better for me. If I had to do it all over again, I would move to a location closer to the bus route to school. Right now, I will have at least a 15 minute walk to the bus stop everyday. Which, let's face it, isn't a lot of fun in the awful heat or when it starts raining.

4) Each day I am not living in an apartment with a working Internet that I can hook my VOIP phone into is another day that I am losing out on my income. I only budgeted for 3 weeks not working, and now that I'm already well into my 4th week, I have lost a lot of money. I can no longer wait around for them to get their acts together, my business is way too important to me,

Bottom Line: I have options! I don't plan to back down at all and, should they choose to keep penny-pinching and playing around with me, I will be more than happy to part ways and find something else. It isn't what I want to do but I will do if it's necessary.

The bed folks called me yesterday and Avi left a message. Now, the bed which was supposed to be delivered a few times last week, and then again 100% today, will not be ready until tomorrow.

I called Avi back and left him this message: If the bed is not delivered tomorrow, as directed, I am stopping payment on my American Express card and will find another store that wants to take my almost 4,000 shekel. I got a VERY quick call back with a message saying that the bed will definitely be delivered tomorrow. Let's hope that the apartment negotiations go well, otherwise I have no idea where I'll be moving my bed into.

Wish me luck tomorrow morning on dealing with the apartment!

Song of the day is Something to Talk About by Badly Drawn Boy because Eye of the Tiger would have been too dramatic.

My September 11th Story

If you were in New York City on September 11, 2001, then you have a September 11th story. Our parents generation had the "where we were when President Kennedy was shot" story, and their parents generation had "where we were when Pearl Harbor was hit" story. Follows is the story that I will, hopefully, share with my own children someday.

I was living with my Zaydie down on Grand Street and working as an Account Supervisor at The MWW Group. My boss at the time, who will remain nameless because I do not need to give him any more PR than he already has, was in Israel working on new business development. I was in charge of the team, which on that day, included Julie, Schuyler and Kate. That morning, we were supposed to issue a release for one of our technology clients based in Washington, D.C. That meant that I had to get to the office by 8:30, as PR Newswire was supposed to send out the release at 9:00 a.m. I had told Schuyler, Kate and Julie that they should all be in the office by 9:00 because we were going to be pitching the release heavily starting early. Julie was coming from Brooklyn, and Kate and Schuyler were both coming into the City from Hoboken.

People have heard this countless of times, but the blueness of the sky that morning was incredible. It was absolutely crisp, clear and cloudless. As I was walking on Grand Street, away from the East River, I actually stopped in the middle of Grand Street between Lewis and I think it's Columbia Street, and looked straight down where East Broadway started and ran straight into the World Trade Center. It was magnificent that morning, as the buildings were every single night when I would come home. I got on the bus, plugged into my CD player (no iPods then) and heading towards work.

I was one of the first people in the office that morning, and headed to my cubicle. I logged onto my computer, made myself a cup of coffee, and started catching up on the morning news. That's when Loreto, the secretary, called to tell me that a plane crashed into the World Trade Center. I was shocked, it was such a beautiful day how could that happen? I walked into the conference room where there was a TV about the size of an entire wall, and I tuned into one of the stations as they were all broadcasting the same thing, and sat there watching. People started filtering into the office slowly and pretty soon all the seats in the conference room were taken. Julie and Kate were already there, but Schuyler was still on her way in. When Michelle walked in, who was one of the Senior VP's, she sat down across from me and I remember that she opened up her yogurt and started eating as we all chatted and watched history unfold. We had assumed it was a small TV helicopter that hit the tower as, from the TV set, it didn't look like the hole was so big. I remember Michelle had just put a spoonful of yogurt into her mouth when I turned back to the TV and we all watched the second plane ram right into the Trade Tower.

And that's when we all knew that it was an attack.

Schuyler just walked through the door and I was relieved to see her, because I knew she changed from the Path to the subway at the World Trade Center stop. We watched some more and then people started to panic. Kate's good friend was college worked at the World Trade Center, so she went to her desk to try to call him, other people ran to the phones to call friends and family members to tell them that they were ok, or to inquire if they needed help. Julie and I decided to go downstairs and walk to 5th Avenue to see if we could watch what was happening now at the WTC. The streets were flooded with people, most who looked dazed, many who were oblivious because they didn't know what had happened, and the sounds of the sirens were defeaning. That was all you could hear, sirens heading downtown towards the building. We got to 5th Avenue and milled around with people in the streets. Some cars and buses were driving by, but mostly the streets were filled with people.

And that's when the first building came down. We watched it fall in disbelief, and then all we could see was smoke billowing up for miles. Julie and I ran into Eric on 5th Avenue and he walked backed with us to the office, telling us that we had already missed the first building falling down. He had seen both towers fall.

We got off the elevator at our floor and Loreto told us that the Pentagon had been hit and that they were evacuating the building. I was confused, I didn't know which building she was talking about, and then she said they were evacuating our building and we all had to go home. I went back to my desk to collect my things and to answer my ringing phone. It was my boss from Israel, the first thing he said was that it was safer in Tel Aviv then in New York, and then he chuckled. I was shocked at how blase he was, but didn't say anything. And then, in the next breath, he asked me if I issued the press release and how pitching was coming. I was speechless, utterly speechless. Was he for real? The anger welled up inside of me and I spat out that they were evacuating the building and I would have to get in touch with him much later because we had to go. He told me he would call me at home later that evening and then we hung up.

I'm not going to say how that conversation changed my life, because it didn't, but what it did do was make me realize just how shortsighted some people are. And I made a pledge at that point to no longer make my life about my job, but to make my job a part of my life.

I hung up with the boss and asked Julie to wait for me while I ran to the bathroom. I remember sitting on the toilet with my legs shaking, begging for my bladder to hurry up and praying to G-d that nothing should happen to our building with me on the toilet. I could think of nothing more embarrassing then to have something happen and there I was with my skirt around my knees.

I met Julie, Kate and Schuyler in reception and we all took the emergency stairs down, along with everyone else in our building. When we got outside, we had no idea where to go. The subways had stopped running, and so were the buses, and we all thought that the end was near and we didn't know what to do.

Eric and one of his supervisors came out the door and joined us. I remember watching his supervisor, who was so panicked that she knocked over an older woman in her mad dash out of the building. This 20-something year old mowed down an 80 something year old woman and just kept going, she didn't look back, her panic propelled her into, she was in survival mode and it was every man for themselves. Some suit helped the old woman up and she continued to her destination, I don't remember if she was hurt, but I don't think she would have stopped either. Panic had gripped her too.

Eric mentioned going down to the World Trade Center, and Kate mentioned trying to get in touch with her friend.

And that's when I remembered that my little sister worked on the 40th floor of Tower One. And for the first time that day, I felt the panic. I got out my cell phone and tried to call my Mother to find out where my sister was, and if she had heard from her, but the phone wasn't working. I told Eric I would walk down to the World Trade Center with him, but I needed to buy shoes. For the first time all summer, that morning, I decided not to wear my sneakers to work and was wearing a pair of black Stuart Weissman loafers. They pinched my feet and gave me blistered if I walked more than three blocks in them, so I knew my feet would be shredded by the time we got downtown. Eric didn't want to wait but Julie offered to walk with me, so we made our way uptown. Kate's roommate owned a restaurant on 57th between 5th and 6th, a kosher style deli called Wolf's, and Julie, Kate, Schuyler and I decided to go there and try to figure out what to do. On the corner of 57th and 6th there wa a Foot Locker and I bought a new pair of New Balance sneakers for the long walk downtown. Regardless, Julie and I had to walk home, so the sneakers were necessary.

We all ended up sitting upstairs at Wolfe's and watching CNN for five hours until the subways started working again. Schuyler's roommate came to join us and a couple of her other friends stopped by too. At some point, Jared (Kate's roommate and the owner) put food down in front of us, but I don't remember if we ate. I finally got through to my Mom and she told me that my sister happened to have been in New Jersey at training that day. We discussed whether or not I should try to come back to Queens, and my Mom asked me to stay in the City and make sure my Grandfather was ok. I acquiesced. In hindsight, I probably should have gone to Queens, for the next week would be one of the hardest weeks of my life.

Somehow, Julie and I got on a downtown F train at 57th Street. The train was packed and everyone was on top of each other. But no one complained, no one pushed, everyone was either talking to one another about what was going on, or they were silent. People maintained eye contact, no one was afraid of anyone that ride. We were all one people, and we all had no idea what was going on.

I got out at Delancey Street and watched the throngs of people, most covered in grey ashes, walking slowly over the WIlliamsburg bridge to Brooklyn. The Lower East Side looked like a ghost town, there were no cars on the streets, only thousands of people. The gutter was littered with papers, which I walked through on my way from the subway towards the apartment. I didn't stop by my Zaydie's store on Ludlow street, I had assumed he had closed up shop and headed home when the towers were hit. I didn't find out until later that he didn't hear what happened until he got to shul that evening.

I kept on walking, through the litter, and looked up at the sky and the big gray cloud of smoke that was billowing over the water. When I got to that corner, the one between Lewis and Columbia, I stopped again and this time the magnitude of what happened hit me. In the place where that morning the Towers had stood, there were weak rays of sunshine making popmarks in the smoke of Ground Zero. It was unbelievable. I bent down and picked up one of the pieces of papers that were lining the gutter where the fall leaves should have been and read the memo. I don't remember the names on the memo, or the company, I just balled it up and threw it back down onto the floor. I wouldn't realize what I had done until a few days later. I walked into the apartment, dropped my bag onto the floor, and put on CNN in the living room. I didn't move again until Zaydie got back from mincha and joined me.

I didn't sleep that night, glued to CNN instead. At the first light of morning on September 12th, I ran out of the apartment in my PJ's to the deli across the street to pick up The New York Post. On the cornere were exhausted firefighters, they each had a styrofom cup of coffee in hands and their eyes were red rimmed. They were covered in dust, some had make shift masks or bandanas tied around their necks. This would become a familiar sight for me in the days to come.

The Mayor closed all traffic from 14th Street down to the tip of Manhattan, and so nothing was allowed in or out of the Lower East Side. Zaydie insisted on going to open the store each and every day, even though I implored him to stay home as there was no way he would do any business. He wouldn't alter his daily routine and so I let him go, and I continued to stay plugged in, to watch what was going on, to try to understand.

They started using Grand Street to shuttle body parts from Ground Zero to the morgues. I heard that the firefighters in the fire department down the block had almost all been killed in the buildings. The shelves of the supermarket were starting to go bare. And I still didn't sleep. My boss kept calling from Israel, trying to get me to do homework, and I refused. Kate's friend had died. People I knew who were at the conference at Windows of the World that morning were gone. Person stories of death started to filter through. Everyone knew someone who was related to/married to/mother of/father of/husband of/wife of/sisters and brother of someone who perished.

And still I did not sleep. I couldn't get the images out of my mind. The images of people jumping from the Towers, the woman who waved a white hankerchief out of the windows as an SOS, the firefighters who walked through the black dust and smoke in a daze, the big black cloud that came racing out onto the streets like a hand trying to grab people and pull them into hell. I couldn't get the sounds out of my head. The beaten sirens that wailed sickly after being pummeled by the bricks and steel of the buildings, the cries of the people who were looking for their loved ones, the screams from Ground Zero as people ran to get out of the way.

And then I thought about the fact that the people who were covered in grey, who walked over the Williamsburg bridge, who I watched intently when I emerged from the subway, were not just covered in the residue of the buildings. They were covered in the remains of the people who were in the planes, and who were in the buildings. Their hairs, eyelashes, bags, clothing, coats, pockets carried people, pieces of people. I thought about that memo that I had held, written by someone who was probably no longer with us, and all that was left of her existence (I remember enough that it was a woman's name) was the piece of paper that probably sat in her in-box hours earlier.

I didn't sleep for three days straight. Mercifully, my Dr. called in a perscription of Ambien, which was getting low at the pharmacy when I went to pick it up that Friday morning. On Saturday, provisions started to arrive on the Lower East Side and on Saturday night, I took a car service up to 116th Street and Broadway and for a few hours, escaped the reality that was since September 11th on the Lower East Side.

Today in class, one of my classmates read aloud the opening of a story about September 11th from someone who was living 8 blocks from the Towers that day. He wrote how "the skies rained people", which was a very real and haunting image. He ended the paragraph saying that 9/11 was the day that changed the world. The class was silent. One guy quipped that it wasn't the day that changed the world, and I listened for a while as the debate went on around me. My first though was, this is an inappropriate conversation to be having in our writing class. It has nothing to do with creative writing, our job was to analyze the opening sentence not to discuss the content of the article. I finally had enough and opened my mouth, and all I said was that for someone who wrote that article one year after 9/11 and who lived 8 blocks from the Trade Center when it all happened, for him and for people just like him, 9/11 really did change the world.

If you lived in New York City that day, and you watched the event unfold, then you cannot say that some aspect of your existence didn't change.

It's simply impossible.