Pilgrims and Visitors

I find it fortuitous that, the week of Thanksgiving in the States, I should be reading the literary essay by Cynthia Ozick entitled America: Toward Yavneh. The talk was delivered at the Weizmann Institute in Rehovoth Israel, in the summer of 1970 and this essay is absolutely fantastic. It was our homework assigned for my Jewish Arts Seminar, which is the class that will help me flesh out my thesis and also delve into what makes a Jewish writer, an American writer and a Jewish American writer. I'm still trying to figure that one out myself and find the class, led my Professor Kramer, absolutely fascinating. Actually, I don't think there is any class this year that I am not enthralled with. Who would have thought this absolutely awful student during my adolescent and pre-teen years would have turned into someone with a penchant for academia?

So, at the beginning of the talk, Ozick said: I would distinguish between a visitor and a pilgrim: both will come to a place and go away again, but a visitor arrives, a pilgrim is restored. A visitor passes through a place; the place passes through the pilgrim. A visitor comes either to teach or learn or perhaps simply and neutrally to observe; but a pilgrim comes on purpose to be taught renewal.

Right now, I feel like a visitor in Israel. It's odd because Israel sometimes feels like home, and othertimes, feels like another place for me to just be passing through. I wonder though, can a Jew feel like a pilgrim in Israel? Can anyone feel like a pilgrim in their own home?

I'm in a pretty contemplative mood today, not sure why, I just woke up this way. I have a lot of work to do today and so the stress is getting to me a bit. I have to finish my new short story by COB tomorrow and right now, I am struggling with one of my secondary characters. Currently, I have him as a hobo but for some reason, it just doesn't feel right to me. I can't be cliched and put in a typically hobo as wiseman in my piece. So, I'm thinking of changing the hobo into either a friend or a Rabbi. I know, like the Rabbi as wiseman isn't cliched as well but I think it would really be an important person for my central character to encounter.

I'm worried that my story isn't doing justice to the subject matter, and that is perplexing. The story is about a woman who loses a friend in the World Trade Center attacks. The piece is not about the attacks, or the person who was killed, but rather delves into the issue of loss, lonliness and grief during the week that followed the attack. I'm humbled by the subject I am trying to portray in my piece and want to really churn out something that is both powerful and impactful.

Maybe I'm just being too ambitious?

I've thought of a couple of other beginnings of short stories this week, one revolving around horses and another about Simchat Torah on the Upper West Side. I also still have The Spinsters of 96th Street that needs to be finished. But, again, I'm having a lot of problems with endings. Either way, I refuse to hand in an incomplete first draft. So, even if the ending for this story isn't perfect, it will be workshopped in class and hopefully I'll be able to revise it so that it's in decent shape.

On to more rudimentary matters. Saturday night was so much fun! Ari is back from the States so he came out with three friends, one of whom is a Masters student in Limudei Eretz Yisrael at Bar Ilan. Ann was there too and she brought a friend she met at the site OK Cupid, an Israeli named Avri who was brought up in an observant home but has renounced religion and is now an atheist. He was so interesting that I found myself jotting down notes, I would love to base a character on that guy. Oren, Lana and this girl Becky joined us as well. I think Ann had a good time, which was really the point of the evening, especially since she hasn't really gotten out at all since arriving 4 weeks ago and I want to make sure that she leaves Israel with good things to say! I think we're going to be seeing her performance next Wednesday night, so I have a few days to figure out what people wear to the Opera in Israel! I certainly have no evening gown, nor would I even contemplate wearing one unless someone was handing me my very own Oscar.

Yesterday it was exploration in Ramat Aviv and the Planetarium! OK, I have to admit, I understood about 10% of the show, but it was just so nice to sit there and look up at the artificial stars. Once I got home and was able to log into my computer, I got a message that my friend Josh is coming to town for the week. His brother had a baby boy in Harf Nof so he is coming with his folks for the bris. Unfortunately, Josh won't be able to bring me my winter coat and we might not even be able to get together at this point (with only a week in the country, I'm not surprised that he won't be able to get to Tel Aviv). It would be nice to see him, but I'm okay if we can't. I'll be home in a few weeks, for a few weeks, so I'm sure I'll be catching up with everyone then.

This week is super busy. Between my project due tomorrow and the Levenson wedding in Bnei Brak on Thursday night, I'm going to be running around a lot and so I'm already looking forward to a relaxing Shabbat. Fortunately for me, Lana invited me for both meals, so I don't have to do anything but bring a bottle of wine :)

OK, back to work! Song of the day is Weakness in Me by Joan Armatrading, a classic rock love song. Enjoy!