Thursday, February 22, 2007

Smells Like Teen Spirit

There's a saying in Hebrew that goes something like this Don't open a mouth to the Devil and, well, yesterday I opened my mouth real wide and said AAHHH!

I am blogging from my bedroom as the scent of waste wafts through my apartment. Apparently, while I was gone, this apartment was perfect. There was not one single problem. During the past 48 hours, since I've been back mind you, this place is back to falling a part.

First, Itai called to wake me up to let me know that there is a blocked pipe in the five apartments in this building built by this guy Yehuda. He was on his way to fix the pipe and Itai wanted me to check my toilet to make sure that everything was in working condition. I took a shower this morning and used the facilities without a problem. When I went to meet Oren for coffee this afternoon, Itai called to tell me that there was a huge block in the pipe and they were going to fix everything. I also mentioned that the kitchen faucet was very loose and needs to be fixed. When Yehuda came to check it out, he told Itai that the only way the piece could have been broken was if someone very, very strong leaned up against the faucet. Now, I know I'm a pretty big, strong gal but not strong enough to break the faucet on my own! Besides, it was fine when I left and was like this when I got back, so who was using my apartment in my absent?

Here's where the story gets really good. When I came back from coffee with Oren, I used the facilities and then flushed the toilet. Apparently, the shrink working downstairs (in the middle of a session I was told) got dripped on when I flushed! I didn't ask the details of what exactly dripped on him, but he was taking a shower when I got back from my waxing appointment. So now, Yehuda has removed the toilet from the wall and is fixing THAT problem before he needs to get back to the sink and the clogged pipe.

I wish I knew Yehuda's last name cause I would publish it on the blog and let everyone know NEVER to use this guy! I also don't blame him because the people who built this apartment were extremely cheap and this is what happens when you try to nickel and dime the contractor. You get rivers of waste running down your living room!

Oh yeah! Now they're snaking the drain with this massive black rubber hose that is caked with lord knows what...I think it's time for me to close the door and not watch them work. Trust me people, these guys aint whistling while doing this job!

Fortunately, Vera is scheduled to come and clean the apartment tomorrow. Personally, I think my landlord should pay for her to clean the apartment, but I don't know if that's a battle I necessarily want to fight at this time. I'm gearing up to light all the candles in this apartment to try to get the scent of doody out and the sweet smells of perfumed candles into the apartment. The good thing is that this completely killed my appetite for lunch, so that's not necessarily a bad thing as I could use to lose a few pounds.

Buggy is scheduled to come over for dinner though and I am not cooking and serving him a meal in a flat with this stench. I've got all the windows open folks but with the pipe issues outside the building, it aint smelling like roses there either.

Oh well, this should be the worse thing to happen to in life.

As promised, welcome to the Ugly Wedding Gown section of my blog.

The first is a fabulous creation by designed Raquel Reshef. The features on this gown makes bodice ripping more than just what you read in cheezy romance novels. For a small sum, you TOO could have strings of sequences like a corset pulling together the front of your dress! I hear the brides are lining up for this one.

The second gown, by designer Dorit Kat, includes three different types of material: satin, lace and tulle, and is the perfect gown for the mermaid wedding. Who needs a coconut shelled bra when you could showcase your ta-ta's in this sequence covered lace creation. The sheer material between the waist and bra is divine and ideal for the woman who wants her diamond studded belly ring to shine in the Tel Aviv moonlight.

And, as y'all ruminate on these glamorous creations, I want to take a minute to wish my niece Orly a very, very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Congrates on turning two you fabulous big sister you! I hope these guys clear out soon so I can call and sing her the Happy Birthday song, which has suddenly become a personal favorite of the Orlicious! May this year bring more musical DVD's ( ala Annie) and Elmo videos.

OK, I'm off to monitor the workers in my pad. Here's hoping for an earlier night tonight!

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